Hard To Write
Posted: June 9, 2011 at 9:15 am*deep breath*
I sit here with an overwhelming sensation. A sensation that normally does not plague me as I produce blog post after blog post after blog post. Nervousness. Fear. Anxiousness. The thought of what I will share in this post puts me in a more vulnerable place than ever. It goes beyond my comfort zone of divulging crazy ideas to Peter. It breaks down the safety barriers of vagueness and general musings. It challenges me to say “I believe!” instead of “I wonder?”.
A perfect storm of forces has come together to drive me towards trusting in myself to go after these thoughts that have tugged at my heartstrings for longer than I care to admit. Tugs from God. Fitbloggin’ discussions. Reading Jillian Michaels’ book Unlimited. Coming across a plethora of blog posts about taking action. Devotional reading after devotional reading on using the talents God has blessed upon us, letting go of fear, and dreaming big. All of those things have joined together to get all up in my face trying to say “Tina, you need to DO something!”
But…but…but…but. That scares the shitake mushrooms out of me!!! Turning my dreams into action. No longer keeping my dreams hidden in the depths of my mind, but instead attempting to create them in my life. Uhhh…uhh…uhhh. I couldn’t possibly. Could I?
Yet if I hope for these things to ever blossom into a butterfly and break from the cocoon of my inner wishes, I must believe in them and in myself enough to speak them aloud. Sure, saying them doesn’t mean they will come true, but it does give them the chance to come true. I don’t want to avoid a challenge because a fear of failure. I don’t want to tiptoe around the path I trust God wants me on because of uncertainty in the outcome. I don’t want to half live my life.
So, I sit here at my computer. Sweaty palms. Racing heart. Big dreams.
I want to help others achieve their fitness goals. I don’t want to wait to start.
Before, I always anticipated getting into personal training when both kids were full-time in school. I refuse to commit to working out of the house on someone else’s schedule before then. Lately though? I have the urging to go ahead and pursue that dream of personal training by focusing on online training services and possibly local boot camps or something similar on my own schedule. I plan to order my study materials for the NASM certification after I return from vacation and get certified by the end of the year. Did I really just say that out loud? *deep breath*
I want to share my story – in a book.
I want to go in depth with all the nitty, gritty details of what led me to binge eating, the body image struggles I faced, the hit-you-in-the-gut emotions, the lessons I learned, the challenges I continue to encounter, and everything else that fires me up on the topic. I have always felt a reason existed for what I went through and for the longest time – even before I ever knew about blogging – I pictured using my experiences for others in this way. I believe I do that now through FFF, but something keeps telling me its possible to go a little bit beyond this small platform. Within the next year, I hope to start pursuing that call. Did I really just say that out loud? *shaking*
So…my dreams. Publishing them means I believe they can happen. Publishing them means I believe in myself. Dare I hit publish? *deeeeeepppppp breath* I dare.
- Does sharing your dreams scare you? Why or why not?
- Any dreams you before thought were unreasonable, but then accomplished?
GIRL! i’d totally buy your book. your guest post on my blog about binge eating EXPLODED. clearly people can relate and want to read about your journey. sign me UP. 🙂
Tina – you would be an AMAZING personal trainer! If I was anywhere in your area, I would go to you! God has a plan for you, and if He’s telling you to do this now, then there’s a reason for it. Everything happens for a reason. And the book sounds like an amazing idea, too! I would pre-order it and pick it up the moment it came out and divulge myself in it!
As per your question(s) – sharing dreams does scare me a little bit, only because it makes you more accountable to try to achieve them. Your dreams make complete sense for you, and I’m positive you would succeed in both of them. Trust God.
Trusting God…the path we know we can trust to fulfill us but so often the hardest to step out on thanks to our human nature. I’m doing my best to trust. Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂
I completely understand. That’s how I feel about moving back up with family. I know that it’s God’s plan, but it’s still hard to be okay with it.
LOVE YOU TINA!!!!!!!! 😀
You can do it, you can do all of it 🙂
omgshhh this is a huuuuuge step but if the Lord is tugging at your heart, then keep praying for wisdom while He instructs you every step of the way! yes Tina~I believe you can totally do it, while giving all glory to Him. 🙂 I’d definitely be one of the first purchase-ers 🙂
GREAT DREAMS!! And I know you will succeed in them! I would love for you to help me reach my fitness goals and I would love to read your book! I look forward to each blog everyday. You are such a Godly woman and inspiration! Sending you prayers and a big hug from Georgia!! 🙂
Thank you so much, Whitney! Support from you and others makes such a world of difference.
I think saying what you want out of life out loud helps get it out into the Universe. If you truly believe in something, it can happen. I have complete faith in that.
AND I have complete faith in you. I’ve personally seen you grow, especially in your writing. Your blog is amazing and I think a book from you would be AWESOME.
AND I think you’d make an awesome trainer. You have so much passion and you can tell. My favorite blogs are the ones where I can literally FEEL their passion from their words…and I can feel yours. Go get em’! 🙂
Yes sharing my dreams scares me! That is why I don’t really share them 🙁
Tina I think you are amazing and I think your story can help a lot of people — it can help them see that they are normal and that there is help and hope out there. Love you!!!
Good job!!! It is scary to put our dreams out there. I just got done with a four month transition of leaving my family’s business in financial planning to going for my Masters Degree in education and working in an urban school as a middle school math teacher. It was wierd to tell my husband and m family my dream at first cause I cared about it so much. They all ended up being supportive. Now my husband works in the family business, and my family is more happy for me because I am being true to myself and the calling I feel inside me!
PS. If you made a book about fitness and food and fun and God I would for sure buy it!!! Good luck–you will do amazing! You already help me keep a healthy mindset on losing weight, living healthy, and connecting with God through it all!
That’s so awesome you went for the path you felt most fulfilled by. Gives me hope for going out on my own path too. Thanks!
Do it, do it, do it. That is all. You got this. Have faith in YOU!
Woooooot! I think you will be SO awesome at both personal training (wanna train me? Hee) and writing a book on it. I really want to look into personal training myself, so I can’t wait to follow you on your adventure (and yes – hitting publish makes it REAL – you got this girl!).
I would buy your book and go to your boot camp in a second. 🙂
Haha! Thanks! Just what I need to hear to make me smile and believe I have the support to make these dreams real. 🙂
I am the same way. I feel a sense of need to put my stuff out there too. I think it’s great that you share all of you and a book is a great way to do it. I have a friend that has published with Penguin and self published and I’ve been talking a with him a lot lately about the differences and how to go about getting my book out there. If you need anything, let me know!
We can chat it all out over the lunch/walk/dinner/ANYTHING we do before you go moving on me. 🙂
Good for you for putting this out there! I would buy your book 🙂
I think admitted the things you want out of life out loud is the first step in achieving those dreams. You have to start somewhere.
Oh and the “scares the shitake mushrooms out of me” had me laughing out lough. I’m totally stealing that!
I think this is fantastic. You should share! You have so much to offer.
Going outside my self scares the crap out of me…so do bugs landing on me.
Honestly going from a secure teaching job to seminary was scary as heck. I had no idea what to expect and I was a single woman. Yet God got me though and now I’m a pastor (oh and married, but that’s another story). Best choice but absolutely terrifying.
You can do it and I’ll be first in line to buy it.
Great post. Yes. I am afraid to post in my own blog that I am currently studying for my NASM certification. I have procrastinated long enough..it was on sale for $100 off! 😉 Eeek! 🙂 I am getting better at putting my stuff out there, but not as much as I would like to. Not yet.
Competing in the Figure Contest was a dream I had for sooo long. I only told a hand full of close friends ( and a whole fitness forum full of friends), but only shared the details after it was over. I have this fear of failure I guess…… I need to get over myself!
Dream big.
Just saw this quote on Joyce Meyer’s FB, “Just because you feel fear doesn’t mean you can’t do it. Do it afraid!” As a personal trainer you would not only help your clients (and blog readers!) but you would be an amazing role model for your children, letting them see dreams in action.
Plus personal training is such a flexible profession, with the possibility of being an online trainer (with certification, training, and the fact that you competed all giving you “credibility”) would complement being a stay home mother.
You are the one who holds the reins of your dreams. Let that pony run!
Melinda
Thank you so, so much for this comment Melinda. It really helped give me a sense of peace for some reason. Thank you!
You’re welcome, Tina. It bring to mind the quote from Marianne Williamson, that “as we let our own light shine, we unconsiously give people permission to do the same.” By letting your light shine, you are giving permission for your family and friends and readers (and almost most importantly – your kids!) to let their light shine. Just reading of you having the courage to step out in faith gave me that little nudge I need to tell me that yes, I too can say yes to my dreams. Thank YOU. 🙂
If anyone can do it, you can! I have full faith that you will accomplish both of these goals no problem 🙂
What the heck are you afraid of, girl???!!!! When I read your first listed goal I was like “Well duh…that’s no surprise! She’d be awesome at that.”
You just need to believe that it’s possible. You were placed on this earth for a purpose, and whatever gets you excited, emotional and thinking “I want to do something about that,” is where your calling lies.
I am just starting this journey! For years I’ve wanted to go back to school for Nutrition, to become a Registered Dietitian. I’d like to help people meet their nutrition and eating goals 🙂 Anyone from Heart Disease patients, girls with eating disorders, and the good old regulars at the gym. I have a passion for educating people about nutrition and it’s important. Whenever I watch the Biggest Loser, I bawl my eyes out over the contestants, their stories and current situations. And then I get SOOOO excited and celebrate when they make an accomplishment! My husband makes fun of me because I literally cry EVERY EPISODE. But ya know what? It’s what I’m passionate about. I want to help people become healthy, get their lives back, and see the overwhelming benefit of taking care of their bodies.
So, this fall I’m FINALLY going back to school in pursuit of my BA in Nutrition Science! After that, I believe that the sky is the limit! I truly do. I believe God has blessed me with passions and desires for, not just a purpose, but a great purpose.
Same with you…He doesn’t just have a purpose for you, but a GREAT purpose! He doesn’t let us go through Hell in our lives without having a plan to bring God glory in the end. So believe that there’s a huge purpose for you, and that chasing after your dreams in A MUST. Anything your heart desires, God placed there for a purpose! GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is so inspiring to read!!! You’re right about it all. We both need to go for it. 🙂
You are such an inspiration! I completely believe with a lot of hard work and determination, all dreams are achievable.
You are an excellent writer and have such a knack for connecting with your audience. I think your book would do wonderfully! I’d pre-order it the minute it would become available 😉
Oh Tina I think this is just great! I know you will succeed at whatever you put your mind to. Personal training is a great side job. It allows so much flexibility in your schedule that I think you will enjoy it. Best of luck!
how exciting!!!
Big step but a great step. You have all the skills it takes to do this. I know you will put your mind to it and do it!
That is SO exciting! I would definitely buy your book 🙂
I also think you’ll be an extaordinary trainer!
Good for you! Such a big first step in your journey – i’m so excited for you!!
I think there’s so many things that seemed impossible at the time, but here I am (getting a master’s; getting a job in my field in Atlanta; being able to run 3 miles) – Granted these are nothing like publishing a book (eeee!) but they definitely seemed hard and I was nervous I wouldn’t succeed! Best of luck to you – looking forward to more updates!
I would totally buy your book, and if I was nearby, I’d hire you as a personal trainer too. I think you’d do amazing.
Just like you said, deep breaths. You. Can. Do. This! I totally have faith and believe in you! I love what you write and would support you and your writing. pssh I already do! 😉 I hope you take the pludge! You deserve it.
Thanks so much!!! 🙂
Congrats Tina!
I’ve always thought you’d be very well suited as a trainer, and to hear about the book is fantastic! Of all the bloggers who talk about disordered eating pasts, binging, etc, I think you are definitely the most brutally honest about how its an EVERYDAY struggle that you’ll probably never be without, you dont write fluff about ponies and rainbows, you tell it like it is. I think that’s why so many people respond so well (I know your stories have left me with a sense of awe multiple times, and even created a few of my own “ah ha” moments). So congrats, I think you’ll be very successful in both feilds! 🙂
I’m so happy for you that you took the first step and acknowledged your dreams to all of us. I agree that we go through experiences for a reason. I have no doubt that you will help countless people through your work as a personal trainer and author! 🙂
Tina,
You’re going to do wonderfully both as a trainer and an author! You have so much wisdom and inspiration to share. Even though I don’t have kids yet I can totally understand how you feel about working out of the house. However, you will set such a wonderful example for your two little ones by showing them how you set awesome goals and worked to achieve them.
They (and we) will be so proud. Well we are now too but you know what I mean 😉
You can do it! 🙂
How exciting Tina!!! You will be great!
I obtained my RRCA certification in March and have been struggling with pulling the trigger on the ACSM training materials. It’s a big hunk if money to plop down. It inspires me to see you taking charge. I hope I can muster the courage to do the same thing very soon.
Good for you!! and those totally arent crazy dreams because they fit your personality perfectly!!
Im getting my personal training certs this fall! Im doing it through my college cause they have a whole class for it and plenty of review time and i get a discount on the test:)
I want to be a freelance artist and children’s book illustrator and its definitely intimidating to be figuring out all the small business owner stuff I have to figure out! Plus i have a migraine from staring at my computer so much yesterday while i was making my portfolio website:(
The small business owner stuff freaks me out too. My dad owned his own business and i know what all goes into it and the stress it can cause. Peter keeps telling me I can’t let that hold me back from trying though. If it’s God’s will it will work itself out. 🙂
Tina, you are SO inspirational and write in a very compelling style – I am glad you are taking the blog a step further – it is going to be great!
Personal training just seems natural for you!! I know both will bring you much success!
You CAN and WILL do it! All of it! You are awesome and a great motivator. Your blog is one of the main blogs I religiously read every day. You are always very real and as a reader I appreciated that. Keep up the great work and I *will* pre-order your book 🙂
honestly, you will be amazing in everything you do. reading your blog for the time that i have has proven that to me- with your success in being an amazing mother/wife, reaching your fitness goals post baby, becoming this amazing runner, and inspiring women everywhere through your story. you WILL be amazing Tina, thats straight from my heart. fears are normal, but i think you will even surprise yourself in seeing how much more you can truly do and what God has in store for you
Okay…I’m tearing up now! Hearing others truly believe in me makes my heart swell. Thank you!!! Thank you thank you thank you!
OMG I love it!!! Let me know if you need any NASM help!!! Excited to watch your dreams come to reality!
Count me in for book buying! I think that’s so great that you want to share your story on an even larger and more prominent platform. I feel like binge eating is treated like the awkward second cousin of eating disorders–like people don’t realize that there are eating disorders beyond anorexia and bulimia–when it’s just as real of a problem as any other kind of eating disorder. I think you could have a really good opportunity to bring some attention to it and show how it can be dealt with, which would be great.
Also, you could totes change your disclaimer on your blog if you became a certified personal trainer, and how awesome would that be? “Why yes, I am a certified professional in fitness THANK YOU VERY MUCH!” 🙂
I’m at the same place in my life right now. I don’t know exactly what career path I want to take and there are so many that I am interested in.
Now that you have decided what you want to do, all you have to do is follow through with the decision. Often times it’s easy to make the choice but tough to put it into action.
you can do it! 🙂 i 100% believe that you can succeed at both of those dreams.
I would definitely read your book Tina. You are such an inspiration to me. You make me believe that there is a happy future even if you struggle with binge eating and body image. You can 100% do this Tina because you are awesome!
Tina!! You are sooooo inspiring! I would 110% be going out to grab a book written by you! Way to go get ’em and start working towards your dreams.
I’m starting to get the itch myself…but my palms are still super sweaty. 😉
Damn those sweaty palms! They’re still raging for me. I guess I managed to wipe them off enough to type this out…but now they are back full force. LOL
That’s awesome Tina! We should meet up sometime and chat! I’m local to you, and I became a certified NASM trainer in January. 🙂
Awesome! I would love that. 🙂
I am such a big believer in the power of intention — so I am very proud of you for this post and this dream!
Way to go Tina! You have such a positive attitude ~ you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to! Telling someone can be the thing that helps to push you to take that leap of faith and just go for it!
I can’t wait to follow your journey!!
That’s fantastic! I think you will be a wonderful trainer and an inspiring writer.
YES! YES! YES!
JUST DO IT!
Gotta love Nike! :o)
Go for it! I’m glad you are stepping out and taking the chance on your dreams! I am studying for a big training exam right now too, I’m really nervous to take my CSCS exam… I don’t have the date set, but it has to be before September, so it is slowly creeping up.
You have my support girl! You can do it!
I have a lot of dreams too, but I get scared too…
i think dreams are amazing, and some peoples dreams are so far fetched, but that is what dreams is all about. I love day dreaming, thiking about the future and it scares the HECK out of me..but I love it. Sometimes I keep my thoughts to myself, other times I share them with certain people. Eiter way, never stop dreaming. I would buy your book in a SPLIT second!