Comments That Make My Skin Crawl
Posted: July 14, 2011 at 8:00 amGooooood morning! I hope you all started this morning out on the bright side. If not, consider yourself virtually hugged by moi. And slap on a smile!
I attacked another great workout this morning. I’m still loving on the circuit routines. I usually love to switch it up with different training layouts, but time is precious and the circuits really do help me get through strength training faster. Especially considering I only have two days to work my body well during half marathon training.
This morning went like this:
| Circuit 1 | Circuit 2 | Circuit 3 |
| push-ups | step-ups | leg extension |
| stability ball crunch | speed skaters | barbell bench press |
| alternating overhead press | dumbbell row | triceps dips |
| front db shoulder raise | standing lat pulldown | |
| dumbbell curl on Bosu ball |
I went through each circuit three times for 8-15 reps depending on the exercise before moving on to the next circuit. I did something similar on Tuesday and both days left my body quivering from the challenge.
PS: If you’re looking for a fun challenge, check out my guest post for Courtney where I share a ton of great plyometric moves to intensify my workouts!
While at the gym, I received a comment from another lady saying that she can tell I work hard and she finds it motivating. Awwww, thanks! I appreciate greatly when someone recognizes and credits hard work. It was nice to hear after some different comments I seem to repeatedly receive from those who don’t know me and my affinity for fitness/healthy living personally. Some of my “favorites” -
"”You must have been born skinny!” – Actually, no. If I don’t stay on top of eating a balanced diet and regular workouts, my body errs naturally to the slightly chubby side. And besides – I don’t want to be “skinny”. I want to be FIT!
“You’re lucky you can breastfeed so you can lose the baby weight.” – I have discussed that whole misconception before. Breastfeeding does NOT equal some magic weight loss pill. Sure, my body uses more fuel (aka calories) to produce milk, but breastfeeding also makes me very hungry and tired. Which that combo can easily equal an overeating scenario for me if I don’t consciously control it.
“I wish I liked healthy food as much as you do.” – I love sugar, sugar, and more sugar as much as the next person! You all know that. I simply took the time to try a variety of foods and find healthy stuff I do like. There’s something out there for everyone if you give it enough time.
Lady One: “Look at you already so small after Braedon, Tina.” Then, Lady Two: “I know. Look at her. It makes me sick.” <--- because apparently I’m invisible??? WHY oh WHY get angry or comment like that about someone else’s healthy body? Talk about an awkward moment to have to laugh off!
“How do you get the weight to just fall off of you?” – I work at it. HARD.So, it doesn’t just fall off. I put in the time and energy to train my body physically and push out of my comfort zone at times to keep progressing. I honor my body with adequate fuel and sometimes say no to things that I know aren’t worth the consumption.
“It must be nice to not have to work so you can spend all day in the gym.” (followed by little giggle) – Perhaps said in jest? Either way…my jaw dropped when I received this statement from someone a couple of months ago. If they only knew how much I worked. And that my workouts are an hour average six times a week. Barely what I would call spending all day in the gym. I just make the most of my time.
While I know these comments are simply round-about ways of giving compliments, I just had to vent and also say how much a kind, supportive, and realistic compliment makes an impact. I wish everyone could see that healthy living isn’t a breeze…but is still possible for everyone as well. That’s probably why I love you all so much. You get it!
- What comments/statements make you cringe? How do you handle them?
The healthy food comment bothers me too. I like pizza and french fries just as much as everyone else. I just choose not to eat them every day. It’s just as hard for me!
I HATE the skinny comment. I’m not skinny, I’m fit and in shape. I have muscles that I work hard for and I’m proud of how far I’ve come physically. I have huge hurdles that I have gone through and still work through as far as my physical health goes, so when people make those comments, it just makes me mad. I have limitations, but I work around them and am proud of myself everyday for them. I also hate when people blame having a baby for being unhealthy. If you want to be healthy and in shape, it’s up to you to work at it.
It probably doesnt help that you are shorter too so people will assume you are just “petite” on top of it all. You for sure work hard and don’t allow any excuses!
You are an amazingly strong woman who motivates others by simply sharing your life! Don’t let little snide comments get stuck in your head- because YOU ROCK!
I would get annoyed at that too.
Truth is, you were healthy even BEFORE your pregnancy so its not like some magic happened!?!
The magic is blood, sweat and tears baby!
Oh- I hate those comments, too! And I have one to add-
“if I ate ate as many vegetables as you did, it would make me sick.”
Why? Why comment like that? Keep your eyes on your own plate random lady!
I have gotten a comment “you eat too healthy”. Is that even possible???
Oh my gosh…I can totally relate to all of this. While most people are nice and supportive when I make healthy choices and with the fact that I am really focusing on getting fit after having a baby some people seem to have an issue with it and make silly comments like the ones above. Didn’t their mom’s teach them that if they have nothing to say, don’t say anything at all? 🙂
You are amazing and you continue to inspire me and others every single day! XO
Ahhhh i just got a comment today at the gym. A guy came up to me at the gym and started asking me about what my goals are and then said “Oh because you look good except need a little work in this area (and rubs his stomach)” and then he went on to give me training advice. My tummy is my trouble area but really…REALLLY??! I don’t even know you dude. And its not even like im a big girl. I wear a size 1, i just have a little pooch and so does my mom. its hereditary, the way my body is made and im OKAY with that. I’m not okay with back handed compliments though.
did you kick him in the groin? and then again in the face?
haha i wish i would have. i just kind of gave him this look and said “uhh…thanks??” and walked away. apparently he is a gym terror because a lady came up to me later and was telling me how she wanted to save me from him because he bothers everyone. haha
Oh. WOW!!! I can hardly believe someone would have the audacity and stupidity to do something like that.
that last comment you received clearly came from an asshat. seriously. i think you need to send her that one post you did that broke down every minute of your day!
I’m sorry…I hardly ever comment, if at all (I do email!)…but today, you are just TOO MUCH for me, girl! I love it! You are so flippin real on your blog, and you do not sugar coat things and that’s why reading your blog is on the top of my “me time” each day. I appreciate the realness from the bottom of my heart, and when you are all sunshine and rainbows, it shines through as genuine simply because you have moments (posts) like this one (super honest and filled with the truth) that show you really put your heart and soul into this blog. All I can say is thanks for taking the time to post for us. I notice that since your vacation you have been posting more times per day…thanks! You are such motivation and inspiration to me daily.
“I wish I liked healthy food as much as you do.”
I *hate* that there’s this misconception that healthy food = bad-tasting food. I eat oatmeal every day for breakfast not because it’s healthy (although it is) but because it tastes awesome, especially when you add in some fun fruit, nut butter, etc. There are some healthy foods that I won’t eat because they don’t taste good — some cereals I’m thinking of right now — but I’d never sacrifice taste for a few calories. It needs to be healthy AND tasty!
yesterday at the gym a lady in the locker room asked me (right after i changed shirts in front of her no less) “how’s the baby”
i have no baby. i’ve never had a baby. i’ve never wanted a baby. you know what happens when you assume…
I agree with the breast feeding statement! I get that from people all the time. What they don’t realize is BFing makes you ravenous so you eat back your calories, and then some. You still have to put in the effort!
oh my gosh! people can be so ridiculous sometimes. i bet those people have no idea how their comments come off.
a couple months ago, i was wearing an empire waisted shirt and a professor asked me when i was due. yeah. not preggers here, but thanks. you shouldn’t assume anyone is pregnant unless you know!!
i hate the misconception that healthy food tastes bad too…it’s actually really great, and even if it’s not something people typically like it’s probably because it’s not being prepared well or it’s not in season. either way, you do look great and your hard work is incredibly motivational. and i’m proud of you 🙂
Exactly! Healthy is and should be delicious. although things like espresso brownies (still my fave of yours!) are great too. Hehehe.
Been there!! My favorite” comment was regarding my having natural (undedicated) child birth. I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “you were made to have babies!” Seriously?! It hurt like mess and I had to work at it!
This one made me want to hunt who ever said that down: “It must be nice to not have to work so you can spend all day in the gym.”
Who says stuff like that?!
I don’t like when people comment on me being “skinny” or what I eat. Thanks to the blog I can just say “go look at my site if you’re that curious to know what I eat!” 🙂
Ha! I love this. I’m sure you handled those comments tactfully to make up for their lack of it.
Those comments are really horrible! Congrats on keeping your calm!
I often get comments on my ‘rabbit food’, especially from co-workers during our lunch break. I’m a vegetarian, and I eat lots of salads, fruit, and veggies. Plus, 98% of my lunches are home-made, witch is the exact opposite of my co-worker’s lunches. I usually just ignore those comments, after more than four years, it’s getting oooold.
On the other hand, I also got a great comment recently from a trainer at my gym! “I can tell you’ve already been working out!” – That’s a first! It seriously made my day!
Omg all of those comments must come from people who are jealous of you! I hate getting the skinny one- I work to look the way I am and I don’t think a lot of people appreciate how much effort I put into being and looking healthy!
It’s funny you posted this, because I’ve been having the same thoughts recently.
One of my friends has a serious problem with binging, whether it’s on food or alcohol or cigarettes. To that end, she allows herself no alcohol, no cigarettes and only white meat, fish and steamed veggies. I forget what the issue was the other day … it was something like she wouldn’t eat a cookie, and I pointed out she should allow herself to enjoy one cookie. (She was obsessing over it.) And she turned to me and said “Well, we can’t all be like you.”
At first I didn’t think much of it, but later that day I thought about that comment, and realized this isn’t the first time she’s made a comment like that. We so clearly don’t understand each other when it comes to this issue … she doesn’t understand how I can say “no” to the entire plate of cookies, and I don’t understand why she can’t. But the “we can’t all be like you” makes me uncomfortable, for a reason I can’t entirely pinpoint.
Secondly, my friends and I have a habit of calling each other words that rhyme with “witch” and “shore.” It never really bothered me before, but lately it’s been getting under my skin. Those words have such negative connotations, and I’m at the point where I don’t even want them said anywhere around me, much less say them myself.
That comment would have driven me crazy too. Sure, we can’t all BE someone else but we can LEARN from strengths of others. if we open ourselves to them.
Some people are sooo rude! You should refer them to your blog so they can see how hard you work! 🙂
True. But then I can’t blog about these comments. LOL 😉
I think one of the comments that I hate is “Well, you’re so tiny!” I know that I’m small, but like you said, I’m definitely not born that way (cue Lady Gaga). I work my BUTT off because, like you, I tend to be toward the chubby side, thanks to wonderful genetics. Staying fit is hard work, but I LOVE it! That’s why I am able to stay as fit and healthy as I do.
I got the comment today that I should be the poster child for all expecting moms since I am still working out into my 7th month. All I could think about was you and all the other preggo bloggers out there who worked out their entire pregnancy too!
What’s funny to me is that half of those wouldn’t bother me at all…and I think most of those comments are made out of jealousy because you look so good. Instead of getting upset just take them as the compliments that they are trying to be. I best those ladies are trying to compliment you and they don’t realize you don’t see it as a compliment. They think you have an amazing post baby body (x2) so I wouldn’t tae offense except to the last one…that one is definitely a little below the belt!
I hate judgemental comments about my eating habits. I get the “You don’t eat enough,” “You should indulge every now and then,” and the best…”Are you really going to feed your family all that healthy stuff?” WHAT?! I used to get really annoyed, but now it’s just in one ear and out the other.
Some of the things that people say are just outrageous. I mean I don’t think they mean to hurt half of the time but sometimes it’s just they just jabbed a knife in your confidence. I’ve gotten some really mean stuff as comments before so I had to turn off the anonymous feature..Stuff that made me want to quit blogging. As well as mean stuff in person..Like people will accuse me of being unhealthy because I look so skinny. They act as though they know my personal life and watch everything I eat? No I eat 5 meals a day thank you very much all day long!
I know exactly how you feel about people losing their etiquette.
Tina…Ignore them. Words can be so hurtful…and yes..Are you invisible in that conversation?? Sheesh!! You are doing a great job. You are being healthy and I LOVE the t-shirt you posted…Fit Looks Good On Everybody!! I need that!! Hang in there, Kiddo!!
This was not a back-handed comment, but just a weight related comment that really bothered me. Someone said he wished he could get really sick so he’d lose weight. Seriously… I did lose 15 pounds during an illness one time. It was not good. I’d really rather be healthy! What a foolish wish!!
And when someone says, “I wish I could…” about something that I do (usually running or homeschooling). Almost always I feel quite certain they could do it, if they chose to.
Oh, and I didn’t care for it when my brother said he felt sorry for my husband because of “all the lettuce” we eat. :eyeroll: I love my brother, but come on. We eat a wide variety of foods, and my husband likes the vast majority of it!
Uh, oh, Tina, I think you may have opened a can of worms! lol!
I should add, from reading your blog, I can vouch for you that you work hard at being fit. I think it’s great!
Have a good day! 🙂
That’s just amazing that you get those comments- as if someone can’t see how hard you work out considering you post the workouts here in your blog! It’s pretty obvious your weight loss comes from exercise and healthy eating not just breastfeeding and of course not a crash diet or having genes where you eat crap all day and just lose weight… makes me wonder how long those people have been reading.
A.L.
Oh these weren’t blog comments. These were comments from people I come across on occasion in everyday routines.
OMG every single one of those comments made me so angry to read!! Especially the one about “that makes me sick” when you’re standing right there. UGH!! So catty and rude and um – can you say jealous much?? It always bothers me when people make such broad assumptions when they have NO idea how hard it is to get and stay in shape. I’m very much like you in that I HAVE to work hard and watch what I eat or I will be chubby. It’s in my genes and nothing I can do to change that. You have willpower not to want to smack the smirk off their faces when such comments are made. A better person than me, hehe 😉
I hate ( I don’t use that word often, so u know it bothers me) when people say you eat so healthy I just want to say I’m not judging what you ordered. I way healthy because I 1. Like to and its important to me 2. It make me feel good and 3. It doesn’t mean I deprive myself of sweets, because I ordered a salad means I will most likely get desert 🙂
Tina those comments would piss me off too! Wow. I think people usually have good intentions but their words just come out wrong.
I remember when I joined Weight Watchers a few years ago to lose 10-15 lbs, I had tons of members tell me that I didn’t need to be there. I know they meant it as a compliment but it made me feel like crap. And it made me wonder if my view of myself is so distorted and that I really don’t belong there. It really messed with my head!
I have felt that way also lately! I start doubting myself and second guessing myself. However I am combatting that with educating myself about health and nutrition. I am realizing I am living a healthy lifestyle and that I am making the right choices by watching what I eat, exercising and having a food log. People do not realize the struggles others go through. I put on weight just looking at food so it erks me everytime someone says a rude comment about the fact that I eat in moderation.
Grrr. My blood is boiling for you just reading some of these comments. I want to scream at people who tell me I’m lucky that the weight just “fell off”…um, I work to be healthy, thankyouvermuch. Really grinds my gears.
some ppl just suck! thats all.
we all see how hard you work. some of ur workouts are killer. and you look good because of damn hard work. keep it up and dont let ppl’s small minds bother you!
I am sure you handle all their comments with grace but I can imagine they get under your skin at time! A lot of people just Do Not Understand.
My personal nerve-grater comment was everytime we had lunch with my coworkers and I ordered a salad (because that’s what I like to eat and its healthy) and my coworkers would always accuse me of trying to make them feel bad (as they ordered their chicken fried steaks, etc.) Considering I never commented on their meals and if they asked why I ordered a salad, I just said that’s what I enjoyed eating.
Keep up the hard work girl! You look awesome.
First… I LOVE this post.
Second… Ew. You have every right to be sickened by some of those comments. Don’t people know when to filter what comes out of their mouths? The best thing you can do when that happens to to just respond honestly to them, like you did in this post.
Ugh! Those comments totally piss me off!! I hate that too. Total jealousy seeping through every comment you noted, and tons of misconceptions. And um, everyone likes junk food, duh, in some capacity. the trick is to offset little indulgences with good food. healthy food IS TASTY people!! Ok rant over. Carry on 😉
I believe the one that made my skin crawl the most was from a parent of a former student. She came back to visit the school after they moved to another district and I was recently engaged. Her response, “Well it makes sense since you lost some weight that you would snag a man.”
Are you even kidding?
What?? Like you’re going fishing or something??? Some people need warning labels on them.
I never really cared for her and was glad they moved before I could have another one of her kids in class.
It’s amazing the rude things people are willing to say…I’m sorry you had to hear that stuff. 🙁
I hate the ones that lead the opposite way…”you run all the time, I would think you would be so skinny”. Um, I don’t want to be skinny, but thanks for telling me I don’t meet your expectations since I’m so obviously working day in and day out to please some random gym rat who smokes after doing a few sets with the pink weights.
Seriously!? You look so great and healthy I’m amazed someone would say that.
Oh my gosh! I feel you on those ones. It’s so SO awkward when people make comments like that. Just a few days ago I was walking around with a friend at a park, and as I’m eating an apple and trail mix (instead of some pastry she and a few others were eating), she points out how I have the “healthy food” and that’s how I “look like this…” Then everyone proceeds to turn to me and eye me down. Hmm….thanks….that’s awkward!
Then on 4th of July at a friend’s BBQ, a lady was walking around saying hi to everyone, and when she got to me she said “Man, you’re getting so skinny!!” I didn’t take it as a compliment at all! And was actually slightly offended, because I’ve been trying very hard to fuel myself adequately and maintain my weight (which I have gained) and so I felt that all my hard work had just been squashed to pieces. I promptly spouted back (with a slight attitude) “Um…what? Me? I’ve actually gained about 10 lbs….but, thank you?” Her reply: “No you haven’t. It’s all muscle, Anna. It’s about your appearance. You LOOK thinner.” Just like that. I was extremely annoyed! I told my hubby, as he knows my situation. I asked him if he thinks I’ve been working out too much and/or not eating enough. He informed me that I eat more than him sometimes, so he thinks I’m okay. lol That was all I needed to hear 🙂
I haven’t gotten those kind of comments in a while. The comments lately aren’t so much about my body as they are about what I eat. People critique my food choices all the time….saying “just live a little! Eat the pie! Eat the pizza!” While those things are just fine and dandy sometimes, I don’t need them all the time. I pick and choose. If I will leave the party feeling deprived because I didn’t eat dessert, then I should probably eat some dessert! But if I can walk away and not even remember there’s dessert on the counter, what’s the point in eating it???
Sorry, now I’m just venting!!!!
Vent away, my friend! We all need space for a good vent. 🙂
Umm… any and ALL of the above! ahaha
Sometimes I just want to say “go read my blog, you’ll see how wrong you are” lol
I’m right on board with you on all your comments and I would be livid if someone thought that not having a job (BUT Having two kids) somehow left tons of time to work out.
I hate when people tell me I don’t eat…WHAT? I eat every 2 hours. And my calories intake is right where it’s supposed to be for my height/weight/activity level (about 1600 cals/day). Lame!
I get comments like that ALL the time.
“Oh, well you just bounced back after the baby because you ran” Actually, I only walked while pregnant.
“Where do you find the TIME to run so much??”
I make the time.
“I bet you only eat healthy stuff”
I bet you’re wrong.
People are funny. 🙂
Haha! I love youre responses. I need to steal them as my own.
That must be so frustrating. You work really hard for what you have achieved, and acting like you lay around and get what you want is just annoying!
I hate the comments I get working part time jobs as a college student because people assume that I work there as a career because I made bad life choices or something. It’s like, no, I just need some cash & no one needs your assumptions.
Those comments are just frustrating!! No one should judge until they walk in anothers shoes.
“You seem so fun! I can’t believe you still don’t have a boyfriend.”
Because… clearly it’s not out of free will that I’m single? Sigh…
Oh, ick! Not a cool comment.
Oh my goodness! I was just venting to a co-worker about that same thing! I have lost nearly 40 pounds off of my 5’0 standing self through portion control, learning how to cook healthy meals, consistently working out and adopting an all around new healthier lifestyle.
The comments of “oh my gosh you are so skinny so why do you work out?” make my skin cringe. I am not working out to be thin but to be healthy. In addition, I have a leaner frame due to the fact that I run and do elongating work outs like pilates, yoga and do high reps and low weights for strength training.
The comments that are along the lines of Oh you must have lots of time to work out…UGHHHHH. No, I believe I can give myself an hour a day and do so by attending 6 AM morning work outs and using DVDs at home.
Oh, the comments that really bother me are those that are made when I am at a restaurant and I choose a healthy option over an unhealthy option or choose to eat smaller portions rather than consuming my entire meal.
For me, I am just accepting the fact that I live a different lifestyle and that that is okay. People will say things when you are living a different lifestyle. However I am encouraged that my choices have encouraged others to adopt healthier lifestyles and that I can be an example to them.
Sorry. I had to vent. I literally have been going through a hard time accepting my new fit self because people can be so rude! Then I find myself hating myself for my changes but I hated being overweight and I feel so much better taking care of myself. Sigh..I want to accept myself and not allwo people to bring me down.
Oh man, yes, don’t you hate those comments. Being at home and trying to make a living on our own is HARD!!!! And we work HARD (mentally and physically) to get to where we’re at. Tina, I just admire you so much. I have a funny one actually – back in high school my friend told me I had “Bye Bye arm”. Umm…. really? Well, I’ve worked DANG hard to try to get rid of that. Crazy how just one comment can stick with you forever. And now, my boys and I refer to it as “Baat Wings” instead. That sounds way “cooler”. 🙂
Wow. I can’t believe people actually said those to you! I’d be more than irritated, too. Just tell them to read your blog – we all know how hard you work at this.
I’d just to counter those negative comments with a good one for you: You look fantastic because your inner beauty shines outwardly. You are an intelligent, wonderful mother who shows their children the importance of health. You are strong, physically and mentally, and have the personality to be everyone’s friend.