30 days of self love – perspective

Posted: September 7, 2010 at 8:00 am

Welcome back from the holiday weekend! I look forward to hearing from all of you who unplugged again. Playing catch up? Here are the 30 Days posts from Saturday through Monday.

I hope you take a look at these posts. If you can only pick one, I would say click the “love from others” one. It seemed to really resonate with everyone, including myself. I cried when writing it. Want to catch up with my life from the weekend? Click HERE to hear all about it and see all the fabulous, insanely good, food I ate.

Something else to check out? Michelle from Eating Journey and Heather from Then Heather Said both asked me to write a guest post featuring the 30 Days of Self-Love. Please give them a look!

Now that I have bombarded you with given you links to have some fun with ;), let’s move to today’s topic!


Every day upon arising, we begin a journey led by one choice after another. Those choices add up to the sum total of our lives and whether or not we can claim to live in joy. What is that I hear you saying? Oh…you think that’s ridiculous and that we can’t control everything. You know what I say? You’re right. We can’t control everything. We can, however, control our perspective.

As I discussed yesterday, sometimes we choose to put more emphasis on our body at the expense of fully experiencing the world around us with pleasure. We determine whether or not we live in that manner. In the same fashion, we choose whether or not to succumb to other forces in this world hoping to weaken us. That choice lies in the perspective we adopt.


When a pair of pants fit too tight, you act out your choice whether you demean yourself the entire day with negativity or actively seek out ways to care for your health. When an insecure friend wants to tap into your insecurities with snide comments, you choose whether or not to listen (or stay friends for that matter). When a challenge arises, such as a lost job or illness/injury or broken heart, you can choose to continue living with the belief it will make you stronger or grab a shovel to dig yourself a hole of regret and self-pity.

Our perspectives don’t always have to shine with rainbows and glitter. No shame should occur in feeling pain, hurt, anger, sadness, etc in particular situations. We’re human and those emotions should not be glossed over or ignored. Sometimes we need such feelings to cloak us like a heavy garment and really feel them before moving on with our lives. Nevertheless, we still control those feelings and keep the perspective in tact.


All of the above relates to self-love because part of loving ourselves comes in providing the best life possible. That life consists of seeing the glimmers of hope in dark places, the pain of others in their attempts to cause pain, the waste of time in fretting over matters we won’t remember in a few months, and the ongoing list of similar situations. The authority to provide a “best life” comes in a little package called perspective. It’s your choice whether or not to open that gift.


How do you witness the power of perspective in your life? Do you currently face something where your perspective could make a difference?  

Quote to Reflect On
Be careful how you interpret the world:  It is like that.  ~
Erich Heller

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.  ~Anaïs Nin

*To be added to the email list and receive links to the posts in the morning, please let me know of your interest in a comment below.

*For more 30 Days Inspiration visit these bloggers who shared their personal 30 DSLR messages and let me know if you share anything relating to the 30 DSLR on your blog!


76 Comments to “30 days of self love – perspective”
  1. Kristy says:

    I have post-its on my desk, my frig, my mirror and a lable on my phone that says “choose your thoughts & actions”. I am that lady who tries her best to “create my day”….

  2. Perfect inspiration for the first day back at work this week–it’s all about perspective. This was such a great reminder that I need to start the first day of the work-week with a positive attitude. Thank you, Tina!

  3. Love this post! Its perfect after a long weekend!

  4. I do need to put a positive spin on the job hunt. I have been unhappy where I am for some time, but have not been able to go elsewhere because of the weak market. I recently started attributing my lack of success to the Einstein quote of ‘”Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” This isn’t helping so much with motivation to keep putting myself out there. Certainly, I need to reflect on the need for a brighter perspective.

    • Tina says:

      That is rough. And like I said, its perfectly fine to be frustrated, scared, and everything else I’m sure you feel. The point is to not give up because you have the faith that things will turn around. Keep putting yourself out there. You can open yourself up to different options but never quit. 🙂

  5. One of the reasons I start every day with affirmations is because it influences how I see everything. Louis Haye has some amazing affirmations to say daily about different areas of life and I truly believe they are helpful

    • Tina says:

      I’ve never seen those affirmations but I just checked out her site. I love having little messages like that to start my day too.

  6. What a great topic! I’m big on “having perspective”.
    I gained a mountain of perspective trying to conceive and it’s made me a far happier and better person.
    Great post!

    • Tina says:

      I’m right there with you! Trying to conceive was a challenge and big perspective changer. I’m so thankful it wasn’t as difficult as it could have been and my heart goes out to anyone facing more difficulties.

  7. Emily says:

    My Dad has really done a lot for me in this area. He always chooses to see the best in people and in situations and urges me to adjust the way I look at the world when I’m feeling down about something. I think it is SO important to be aware of how we perceive the world around us and how we choose to reflect on our own place in it. 🙂

  8. Jennifer says:

    I admit I’m not always great at putting my negative feelings into perspective. One thing that has helped me is facing a classroom of students each work day. Nothing shakes me out of my pity party faster than realizing some of the hurt these kids face with their friends and family each day. My problems are happy to take a break if it means making some kid’s day a little brighter. And funny thing…they don’t seem quite so big when I have time to get back to them! Teens are at such a vulnerable age and it reminds me to be thankful that I passed through it to become the stronger person I am today.

    • Tina says:

      What a good observation. If we remove ourselves from the issue for a bit of time, often it doesn’t seem as big when we face it again. Love that!

  9. Nichole says:

    Fantastic guest posts! I love, luhve Heather.

    We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin – going up on my bulletin board.

  10. Kelly says:

    I admit that I sometimes dwell on these little negative things you mentioned in this post and allow it to affect my own self worth and/or my attitude. It takes a conscious effort to remain positive no matter what I’m feeling. I have gained perspective over the years about these things. I know that I don’t want to have a bad day just because I “feel” fat that particular day or I “think” someone is being negative towards me. It takes a lot of practice to get to the point where you don’t let these things affect you. But I’m happy to say that these things do not affect me as much or as often as they used to.

    • Tina says:

      And we’ll never be completely free from those things affecting us. I don’t think we’re meant to anyways. Like you said, its not letting things get in the way of our lives as often as we possibly can.

  11. I could definitely change perspective on my financial situation. It’s so hard to think positive sometimes, but I know it’s worth it!

  12. Penny Lane says:

    Keeping perspective is so difficult for me when it comes to my job. Working in education during the recession has been very difficult, because we must continue the same level of service with 1/4 of the funds. Knowing this somedays I get quite down because I can’t give the students and parents what they want. Really though the children are still getting the services that we are providing and I can’t change the external forces that are mucking up the financial aspect.

    Thanks for another great post!

    • Tina says:

      Ick. What a tough situation. I remember teaching and how you simply can’t give less to your students if you’re a truly great teacher. So that’s got to be hard to still poor as much energy into them and give them your best even though the administrative work isn’t giving you or the families its best because it fiscally can’t. Just remember to focus on the fact you are still changing their lives and able to work in something you care about.

  13. I think there are a lot of times when looking at how you deal with life can show you why you are unhappy. I know I need to rethink how I look at my body a lot. How I look at my myself and at the challenges and blessings that come my way. Why is it that blessings are always luck but challenges are our fault?

  14. Melinda says:

    Tina, I think you read my mind!

    This entire summer I allowed disappointment to shadow my life. It was just like the quote, “Be careful how you interpret the world: It is like that.” The more I wallowed, the worse my life appeared to be. And believe me, that isn’t my life, I am very blessed.

    However, I had seen a glimpse of happiness like I had NEVER believed was possible, as though it was within my grasp, only to have to realize that life would never be mine. And why couldn’t it be mine? Because I let my happiness and satisfaction with my life be attached to a person and things and not to my perspective.

    The worst thing is that I know I just needed an attitude adjustment, and that my happiness and contentment is in how I view my life, and not what I have, but I still wallowed. Guess sometimes life is like that. But, it is time to crawl out from within the shadows and bask in the glory of the sun (or should I say son?)Yes, I was angry at God too, but my faith is coming back, along with my optimism.

    Thank you once again!

    When someone asks what I collect, I say, quotes. I love yours, and am adding most of them to my collection! Here’s another one that I try to remember.

    “We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” Frederick Koenig

    • “Because I let my happiness and satisfaction with my life be attached to a person and things and not to my perspective.”

      I’m dealing with the same thing right now. It’s a hard lesson to learn, to not let your happiness depend on others, and a hard lesson to follow through with… I’m still trying. But it’s very true.

  15. perspective is really huge…especially as you search for the “why” behind how you feel about yourself. i love the first quote too, it reminds me of the whole “whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right”!

  16. Jess says:

    Ahhh perspective, it’s quite a kick in the pants isn’t it?? It is SO true – as soon as we look at something from a new angle, suddenly we realize whatever it was that was impacting us wasn’t really as bad as we thought or maybe we realize that there was something else better just around the bend if we just put our patience pants on for a sec. I know I’ve found that more often than not, when I put my faith in Him, he’ll show me what’s around the bend and suddenly, new perspective is born. I know that’s exactly how I felt when I was bummed that I didn’t get a Kick class on my gym’s group fitness schedule after I passed the certification – I know it’ll happen when more classes are added but in the meantime, He was looking out for me and knew I couldn’t handle that PLUS the half marathon training at the same time. So he took it off the table for me. Now – I’m struggling with finding a new job that fulfills me and doesn’t leave me miserable everyday. Now I haven’t found that job yet and find myself frustrated often because of it, but at least now that I’ve tried to sit back and gain new perspective, I’m slightly less miserable at work (which is saying something, trust me!) and am putting my faith in Him that something wonderful is just around the bend.

    • Tina says:

      I love how God can show us these things. That’s awesome! And “patience pants”…I laughed out loud at that. 😀

  17. For a while, I was stuck dwelling on the fact that I didn’t have a job lined up as soon as I finished university, and this really stressed me out. Eventually, I just decided that what was meant to happen will eventually happen, and in the meantime I should enjoy other things that I love. I’ve had the opportunity to spend some time with myself (as weird and possibly as boring as that sounds!) and get familiar with what it is I really want out of life. I think it’s definitely helped me to put things in perspective and realize that putting a positive spin on every day issues can make a huge difference to my mood at the end of the day.

  18. Changing perspective is something I try to practice on a daily basis. One some days, I really do not like my job, but I then focus on the good it brings into my life and the changes that may be taking place. It’s definitely not easy, but it helps.

  19. Attitude is a choice. You can’t always control what goes on around you, but you can control how you feel and react to it. Choose to be happy and positive! I wrote on this not too long ago and I try to remember it everyday. I’m a realist (pessimist?) by nature and tend to jump to the negative. By realizing I control that “nature” has made things much easier and more positive..

    • Tina says:

      I’m such a “realist” by nature too. I used to freak out over everything, but then I realized it wasn’t doing me any favors so decided to change my reactions. It really does make a difference.

  20. I love that line about choosing to believe our crummy situations will make us stronger. What a great perspective. Needed this post today!

  21. Changing perspective is hard for me. For so long, I have been negative about everything. Now that I am trying new things ( trying to be happier) I have people (sadly, family members) trying to put me down and talk bad about what I do.

    When I have a crummy situation I usually wallow in it and eventually get over it. I need to quicken that process by looking at the situation as something that will make me stronger and move on. There is no use/reason to dwell on it any longer.

    • Tina says:

      Try to consider if there’s something affecting their lives that makes them put you down. See that it likely isn’t you, but their own situations, they have issues with and then you can let what they say just roll right over you so you can move past it.

  22. Perspective is hard for me to keep in mind. I especially love this: “We’re human and those emotions should not be glossed over or ignored.” It’s my nature to ignore bad feelings, and I work hard every day to balance not wallowing in them, but not forgetting them! Thanks for the reminder to try, ha, it helps!

  23. What I love about this post is how each of us truly has the ability to modify our perspective RIGHT NOW. It is a choice, not an easy one I dare say, but it is a choice.

    We have the power, the ability and the chance to change our perspective at any point during the day. It is just whether we decide to do that in a positive, nourishing and loving way or a negative, unloving way. How incredible is that power?

    I have only recently started to fully embrace what my perspective on life has been. I actually am known amongst friends and family as a very positive and encouraging individual. The optimist! I play that “role” perfectly for people in my life because that is truly and genuinely what I want and believe for them. I know they are capable of anything and I know life has such wonderful things in store for them.

    What I didn’t realize is that I do not have that positive perspective for myself. Why? I am not sure what the answer is…maybe because I have always been focused on changing, always focused on the fact that I wasn’t enough, always focused on losing weight, eating better, being just better. I have never been able to look at myself and just love where I was right then and there. That influenced everything in my life, including my perspective.

    I have started to use quotes, notes from my husband, challenges such as this beautiful one and support in my life to change my perspective on my day and myself. It is a simple choice, a choice that sometimes I make over 100 times a day.

    But I now decide to use this power in creating a better life for me and a better perspective on the world around me. 🙂

    • Tina says:

      I can relate to this so much. Even when I was at my lowest of lows I could still manage to put on a happy face and cheer up others I might know. I could hide my feelings very well from most everyone besides immediate family.

      But it’s so important to embrace that positive nature for ourselves too. Glad you are doing that!

    • Wow…I can so relate to your post! I have also been the optimistic one…the one who truly believes that great things are possible for everyone, except when it comes to me. I don’t know why either…I just expect happiness and dreams are something available for OTHER people…

      Love your ending affirmation – “Now I decide…” We do have that power, if only we accept the challenge.

      Thanks for sharing.

  24. I am constantly checking myself on what I beleive about the world. Sometimes I realize that I have a belief that I was not even aware of that was totally ruling my world.

    This weekend while I was working at my serving job, I REALLY was pissed about being there, but I said something to myself ” I radiate my love from my heart” and I changed my perspective about being there and I had the best tip night ever!

    • Tina says:

      That’s really cool how choosing to have a better attitude about showed up for you in a physical manner so quickly. And those are the most dangerous situations…where you don’t even realize you’re dwelling on something until too late.

  25. Yet another one that hits me really hard. Especially these two quotes..
    “life consists of seeing the glimmers of hope in dark places, the pain of others in their attempts to cause pain, the waste of time in fretting over matters we won’t remember in a few months..”

    “When a challenge arises, such as a lost job or illness/injury or broken heart, you can choose to continue living with the belief it will make you stronger or grab a shovel to dig yourself a hole of regret and self-pity.”

    Sometimes it’s so hard to see past the bad things that you’re dealing with, the pain others have caused you, and you just want to bury yourself in a hole and never come up. When in pain, it’s hard to see past the pain.. past today.. towards healing. Yet you have to because if not, where’s the hope? And without hope, how can you move on with your life?

    • Tina says:

      Exactly! I’ve never understood how much just believing and hoping can help a situation. I know you have experienced a rough summer and I really pray for you that the light at the end of the tunnel comes soon. I know you’re strong though and you will work towards healing.

  26. Jolene says:

    I am ALL ABOUT perspective. It’s hard to grasp all the time, but once it’s part of your mental routine, it’s so obvious when others don’t have it or have lost perspective. I strive for it daily.

  27. another wonderful post, girl! I love the fish image/words – so true. When we hold people to standards – unrealistic or otherwise, we tend to find ourselves disappointed and/or let down, and maybe even more importantly, we’ve hurt them and made them feel like nothing. 🙁 Love your messages!

  28. Lauren says:

    Thanks for your ideas on perspective. I definitely need a perspective check every day. I am in the middle of searching for a full time job (since finishing my master’s degree in May) and am working part time at a coffee shop in the meantime. My husband’s job does not pay a lot and I often feel humiliated and depressed that all I can contribute right now is a minimum wage salary. I often wonder why I spend 7 years studying so hard when all it got me (so far) was work at a coffee shop.

    Then I remind myself that our economy is in a recession and I am employed in some (albeit small) capacity, and any $ I can bring in is better than nothing at all. It’s a good lesson in humility and remembering that there are millions of people out there in the same (if not worse) situation. I have so much to be thankful for and I have to remember that. And hey, I get free coffee whenever I want 🙂

  29. I definitely love your positivity and enjoy reading the 30 Days posts. 🙂

  30. You are right. Life is all about perspective. REcently I was trying to make a move across state and plans fell through. I was deeply depressed because I honestly thought it was finally time to move. I know that God has a plan and I just have to be patient. I honestly feel that now, since we’ll be here for another 6 months (at least), I have to change my perspective and bring the positive out of the situation! I can’t spend the next 6 months sulking! I need to revamp my perspective and realize that I am still so blessed!

  31. Taryn says:

    It’s amazing what sitting back and changing perspective can do for your attitude or beliefs. It’s great to be able to stop being bothered by the little things that don’t matter in the long run, even if they seem to matter in the moment. It really lifts a weight off your shoulders.

    The thing that makes it so impossible to create a new focus or perspective is the idea of letting go, of relinquishing control. No one wants to admit that their standards were too unrealistic or that they were worrying about something small, so they tend to keep those standards and worries to prove something to themselves. However, I think that if everyone just gave up one idea that brings them down, we would just FEEL better.

    Thanks, Tina, for these topics. They’re not something I analyze or even think deeply about on a regular basis. It’s good to bring these to the front of my mind. 🙂

    • Tina says:

      Oh I like that thought…that we may continue to put so much importance on a situation and worry over it because we don’t want to admit it’s unnecessary. I didn’t even consider that. So true though!

  32. Kelly says:

    I have this problem of replaying events in my mind all day long. How I should have handled it differently. What I would say if that person came up to me now. It monopolizes my whole day and I end up stressing over a very simple little event. I have started asking myself one question. Will this matter a year from now? Usually it won’t so I try to let it go. Now I start my morning listing 3 things I’m grateful for. Some days these things are awesome. Some days I’m just grateful to get out of bed. It’s all about your perspective! thanks for yet another great post.

  33. Kacy says:

    Perspective really is such a difficult thing to maintain in times of hardship, but I try to constantly check my perspective and make sure it’s one that makes me a more calm and peaceful version of myself.

    Another GREAT post.

  34. Maren says:

    I get too consumed with body image and the quantity of food I’ve consumed sometimes. When I let that veil fall over my mind and face I lose sight of everything in front of me. It’s like I’m standing right inside a tunnel, and all I can see is the the “issues” I have at the end of the tunnel in the light, everything else is dark and outside the walls. I’m working on it, and I have less and less days in the tunnel from my experiences blogging.

  35. Yet another great post!

    I think my perspective is something I have definitely struggled with…but it is also something I ponder and think about! Changing my perspective has been something that has helped me transition from negative self-talk…another reason why I think you hit the nail on the head with this post!!

    I love the fish cartoon…SO true!

  36. TOO TRUE, we should never let our emotions be the definining factor of how we view ourselves or how others view us. our feelings are validated and only when we ignore this do we feel controlled by those emotions..and then thats when the emotions we wish we didnt feel get stronger and more powerful.

    beautifully written post!! <3

  37. homecookedem says:

    My life has really changed since finally putting things “into perspective.” I used to think what I ate and how much I worked out determined a successful day. Now I know that how much I loved everyone around me and appreciated all of my blessings is having a successful day. Just today I was thinking about how family get-togethers used to freak me out. Now I look forward to them. Life is too short to dread seeing my family!! That makes me sad to even say that. I love my family so much and what’s important is not the food that is served there (though that is always amazing!!), but the memories made and the time spent together.

  38. Perspective is hard to get! Like everyone, I have A perspective, but sometimes I feel like my perspective is too doomsday for everyday existence. I do try to keep a happy, positive perspective, and have gotten much better over the past couple of years. Eating and exercising definitely have helped me. For some reason, the physical feelings have a huge impact on my emotional perspective on life.

  39. […] Posted on September 7, 2010 by tarynehanson It’s Day 7 of 30 Days of Self Love, and today, Tina brought up the subject of perspective, something very […]

  40. This is something I need to pay more attention to. I had a horrible day at work getting blamed for something I didn’t do. I need to remember that I did the right thing and the important people know that even if I can’t fix the current situation.

  41. Susan says:

    I must say, in terms of real life, I am a hopeless optimist. I sometimes perhaps have too positive of a perspective! 😛 It’s how I was able to pick up and move halfway across the country – because I knew deep down inside I had the strength and will to make things work out. I will admit though that I’m really struggling with body perception these days ever since I put on a few pounds of “fun chub.” I’m trying reeeeally hard to make good food choices 80% of the time, exercising because I want to, and constantly telling myself I’m in the best shape of my life. But there are fleeting moments where I look down at my body and do not like what I see. No one else sees it but me. That is a bogus perspective and I need to snap out of it!!

    • Tina says:

      I know EXACTLY how you’re feeling. I felt a lot of the same way when trying to get pregnant and having to deal with the weight I had to gain for that. I knew it was silly and that there were so many other blessings to focus on, but it just sucked me in. I usually come up with some sort of positive body mantra and repeat it to myself over and over until I snap out of it. And of course there are week moments where I would cry and get all upset for a day or two…but I always pulled out of it. I think you look awesome Susan! And I love your knowledge of fitness and how you push yourself.

  42. Astrid says:

    Life as a grad student is all about my perspective for me. I can choose to take criticism about my proposal and work personally. I can choose to feel horrible because of the lack of progress I am making. But I can also choose to delight in teaching my labs and to focus on doing my work anyways. I will finish if I want to. If not, then I will stop after this semester. You are so right. This is my decision. I can choose to enjoy my life and my time here, or I can live in the little hole I keep digging for myself.
    Today was not the greatest day for my perspective. But I am keeping my head up high. Tomorrow will be a better day.

  43. Ela says:

    Beautiful Tina – Thank you for all the wonderful right-on-the-mark posts – this is a wonderful process for me.

    Here’s my post on today’s –


    much love and appreciation,

  44. Julie says:

    I loved the Anais Nin quote – it’s always been a favorite of mine!

    I posted a bit on perspective today on my blog.
    I just recently had a good lesson in it.

  45. […] Perspective was the topic of 30 Days of Self-Love, and I must say it’s a fickle thing. Perspective can either work for you or against you, determined by your attitude. However if you can recognize and accept your perspective is pessimistic and negative, then you can morph it into a more optimistic, positive outcome. […]

  46. Marcia says:

    I am a “it is, what it is” kind of gal. Usually this mindset is fine, but not always! I tend to be afraid to tackle certain issues in my life too quickly. I need time to figure things out…my problem is I might take too long. Working on this. Thanks for the push!

  47. […] all together. I simply do my best. Each and every day. I still need those lessons and reminders on perspective, trusting my body, confidence, love from others, and putting too much emphasis on looks over the […]

  48. Ooops forgot to send you my link to my blog post on perspective.


    How work went from making me miserable to being a means to an end for me.

  49. […] Tina wrote a wonderful post on Perspective as part of 30 Days of Self […]

  50. lu says:

    I need some perspective right now….I’m looking for a part-time job, and it’s really hard to find something, which makes me feel useless. the post reminds me, though, that I should be looking at myself not only from the perspective of having or not having a job…life’s about so much more.

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