30 days of self love – perseverance
Posted: September 15, 2010 at 8:04 amThank you to those of you who reached out in support of my thoughts and emotions last night. I greatly appreciate it. I look forward to these changes and blogging in my true style once again. Time for me to write without over-analyzing. 😉 Hope you like it!
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When I woke up and checked today’s topic I literally laughed out loud. God sure does have a sense of humor. Perseverance. How….fitting after last night’s sharing.
I never once doubted continuing the 30 Days because I do care about it so very much. I had realized that in order for my passion to continue I had to practice perseverance in being true to myself. Following through can present quite the challenge when its easier to just let things go or ride along in the sweeping currents of others’ wishes and decisions. We have to fight…for the right…to paarrr-tay LIVE OUR LIVES.
As a new mom, “take care of yourself” appears numerous times in the onslaught of advice from others. At first, I blinked with unbelieving eyes because how in the world could a spare moment to care for myself exist when playing booby bar mom to a newborn? Let me tell you – those first 2 weeks were some of the hardest of my life…ranking right up there with the week my father hit me and said he had “tried to love me my entire life but never could” on our family vacation. I loved baby M so much that I lost all sense of self.
Just as I dug my heels in to regain control of my life after my senior year of college, I straightened my shoulders and looked those lost feelings in the eye and said “back off!”. I persevered. It was hard and I felt guilty at times, but I knew caring for myself meant the best for my happiness and my family’s well being.
In reality, anything worthwhile involves struggle. What would our lives look like if we always took the easy road? We have to adopt a will to persevere in those trying times because things will turn around. Our issues only even have a chance of turning into something wonderful with our determination to plow through them backed up by the 1,000 armies of belief in change and hope in good.
No matter what you face today – overcoming eating struggles, feeling unworthy, facing uncertainty for the future, battling a trialing relationship/health issue/work situation, etc – persevere. Remember that you will make it through and that the hard work will be worth it. Listen to your heart, gut, instincts, and God to guide your life…not someone else’s. And not a lesser version of your own either.
- What ways have you seen the benefits of perseverance in your life?
- If you don't want to get too personal, what are some small acts people can do to keep on keeping on?
Check out these awesome blogs for their personal sharing along the 30 DSLR road!
- To Be Determined
- Eat Drink Breathe Sweat
- Ulterior Harmony
- Two Feet Ten Toes
- Days One By One
- Miranda’s Jeans
- Making A Change
- Simply Maren
- Running to a Healthy Life
Tags: self-love reflections
“In reality, anything worthwhile involves struggle.” SO true. I’ve seen this in my marriage, my friendships, my professional life– everything, really! Even in my relationship with food and fitness!
All the important stuff is work. Marriage is work. Parenting is work. Taking care of yourself is work. Work is work. And work does not have to be bad. It can be rewarding, fulfilling, and lead to better things. 🙂
I think it’s finding your grace, God’s grace, and the fire in you that never lets you stop. BUT it always allows you the time to recover. It’s a fine balance, but amazing when you find it.
I think we all have those moments of “deapair” or feelings of hopelessness in the face of any type of challenge, big or small. To be honest, I have always found hope in remembering that, in the words of Scarlett O’Hara, “tomorrow is another day.”
I used to listen to Rascal Flatts “Feels Like Today” on the mornings when I woke up and wasn’t sure if I could overcome whatever sadness or issue had been plaguing me. Recently I discovered a song called “The Sun Will Rise” by Brendan James that speaks to the issue of holding fast to the belief that life always turns around:
I won’t dwell, on my failures.
It won’t help, it won’t bring changes.
I won’t run, when all I want is to run.
I won’t forget the morning sure to come.
The sun will rise, the sun will save me from the night.
The sun will change me, change the way I feel.
The love I want, the love I need is sure to come,
Is sure to lead me, lead me home again.
I’m going to have to find that song!! It sounds like a really good one. Thanks for sharing it!
I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,
who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,
who do what has to be done, again and again.
-Marge Piercy, “To Be of Use”
(I wrote a post about this. And now I’m running late! But thanks for the morning reflection- I still am surprising myself with how wonderful this project has felt)
Having recently finished my job search, it is definitely one area of my life that has required mucho perseverance!! I think it’s really important to remember that you ARE worth all of the hard work that you put in, despite the rejections that you receive. Everything requires perseverance – or else life would be easy! 🙂
Finding the will to not lose hope. I think that can be the hardest thing. Not the action, not what we are fighting for, but the resolve to not give up, to CHOOSE hope even when it seems lost. To recognize that we are never without hope, without a prayer, without a chance.
Agreed. Hope plays such an integral part of perseverance. If you believe that your work will go nowhere, then what’s going to keep you acting? Hope can do so much!!! I think that’s why faith is so important to me. It gave me hope and that hope is what helped turn my life around.
Without. Perseverance in my lide nothing I currently have would be possible. Growing up in dysfunction and knowing that it would someday end. ]raduating 4 years of highschool in 2.
I love your posts. They are so inspirational!
Oh perseverance. He and I go way back. I didnt grow up in a christian home. My sister and I are still the only christians in our family. Growing up in a household with people who ARENT christians while trying to FOLLOW christ is very difficult. The amount of ridicule I got was immense. Perseverance told me to hold on. Perseverance reminded me that there was more out there for me, if I could just make it through until God delivered me a way out. And God did. I met my husband and got married at 20 years old. Peserverance was what I held onto all those years, and will continue to hold on to it through all my trying times ahead
That’s fabulous! Not that you had to deal with people trying to bring you down and keep working to get to a place you wanted for so long…but that you DID it!! Very inspiring. 🙂
Sometimes I think we just make life harder than it is…yes we have to push on but persevere sounds so intense to me and I think with the right attitude of faith and hope life doesn’t have to take so much work.
I’ve had some pretty horrendous things happen in life and got through them better in the last few years by a shift in thinking.
I missed your post last night on feeling lost – I have to say, I still feel as thought your voice has shone through during this 30 days of yours. I have loved reading every single post, and can feel your faith and energy in each and every one. So have no doubt, you are doing great as usual! As for perseverance – this 30 days is certainly a testament of that for you and for me, too. I am trying hard to get rid of the doubts and the negativity in my life (mostly related to work) and to be honest, this 30 days has really helped me in that regard and I hope you know that. You are so inspiring and I thank you so much for what you’re doing!!
I love these last two posts of yours! My faith is the core of my life and I would be lost without it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still have my struggles. Funny how God has a way of sending messages, though, right? I read this book recently that I truly enjoyed called “Captivating.” Maybe check it out on amazon and see if it you’re interested? Either way, thank you for your honesty, Tina.
Thanks so much for this comment! I really try to share myself in as real and honest a fashion as possible.
And I’ll definitely look into that book. I love to read.
first of all, thank you for sharing that story about your father. that’s hard, but it makes me love you even more! and i would say that i had a really hard time (understatement) with a friend of mine in college. it was like the hardest break-up ever…but it was a friendship, not a romantic relationship. hardest thing ever, but i saw nate continue to pursue me through it all…and his perseverance taught me so much about my own!
I know my parents have access to this blog and sometimes read it, but I’ve let them know I will never sugar coat things. I don’t still hate him for it but I have to share because it brought me where I am today. I think part of my purpose is being an open book. 🙂
Wow. I needed this SO much right now. Thank you.
You know I love ya!!! And I’ve been praying for you. 🙂
I’m cosmically connected to the list for the 30 day challenge. Without a doubt the evening before or the morning of I struggle with an issue and always come up with a resolution or advice for myself that coincidentally is the topic you write about.
And I wanted to say “thank you”, the topics we’ve gone over have become a little mantra to myself when I’m feeling less then great.
I just repeat the answers I’ve come up with from the last 2 weeks.
Your blog has given my positive mind something to repeat to my negative mind.
Thank you so incredibly much for what you said here. It made me feel so happy to know that the work I put into this is helping in some way. Kudos for you to being open to allowing more positive thinking in your life!
It is ironic that this post is today. I was just saying to my husband that I needed everything to pause…just for a little bit…so that I had time to cope with what has happened recently. But we aren’t given that option in life. We must find a way to persevere and replenish ourselves while life is moving at 100 miles an hour. So…I suppose that I’m struggling to find how I’m going to do that. I’ve been turning on the radio, I need to get myself back to the gym, I need to have dinner with a girlfriend, I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.
Those all sound like great ideas. Think of what makes you happy and try to incorporate those again. Your friend wouldn’t want you lost in sadness.
Perseverance is such a great topic! It’s funny how things pop up at the right times, but it always happens like that!
I find it always feels better to try one more time, than to give up.
The best advice I ever got was from my psychologist when I was 15 years old. I was severely depressed and debilitated by a severe anxiety disorder (agoraphobia). My family had been through some very hard times in the previous years, and I was dealing with it in all the wrong ways. I ended up dropping out of school and could not find the resolve to get myself out of bed in the morning. Most days started with me collapsing on the kitchen floor while my mother just stood in disbelief not knowing how to make her daughter better.
The “aha” moment came when my psychologist told me that I was finding too much comfort in my depression. Only I had the power to bring myself out of it – and it was going to take work on my part every single day. His approach shook me out of it, and from that moment forward I’ve been working every single day to overcome my anxiety issues. To the point where they are almost completely gone today. It has definitely not been easy, but persevering through some tough times has made me the thankful, happy and patient person I am today.
I relate to this sooo much!!! I think the biggest turning point in my depression was realizing I had to do something to help it stop. I couldn’t just wait for it to go away. I’m so thankful you were able to overcome all of that. You are such an incredible woman with so many great insights to share today. Thank you!
Perseverance — definitely something I am pushing through right now. I am currently seeing a therapist about my body image issues and other issues that stem from my lack of self esteem. Getting through therapy sessions is truly emotionally exhausting for me, but I am keeping at it because I know the benefits outweigh the emotional pain.
Tina thank you for sharing more about you — that has to be tough to talk about, but I hope you know that honesty is always appreciated.
So glad to hear your happy voice again today!
It’s early in the morning here – I’ll blog on perseverance later in the day. It ties in so beautifully to all the other topics so far. Something about not insisting on being in control, but yet being determined to see things through even if you can’t control the minutiae.
love and thanks,
Ela
I look forward to your post as always. 🙂
“Listen to your heart, gut, instincts, and God to guide your life…not someone else’s. And not a lesser version of your own either.”
This is so dead on. I sometimes struggle because I try to create goals and push ahead with a life that I know is a “lesser version.” I sell myself short and then am surprised when I don’t have the fight in me for that lesser version of my life. I cannot work for myself and my own good if I know I am cheating myself. Perseverance comes more naturally for me when I know that I am fighting for my best life.
And you deserve that best life. Don’t let anybody convince you otherwise…even yourself.
Tina,
I just want to give you a hug after reading about the incident with your father. I am happy you know your heavenly Father and that He can help heal all wounds.
I am struggling with pushing myself forward and taking more risks right now. I know that it is something I must do in order to grow and not stay in the same stagnant place I have always ended up in.
I wrote this down from a seminar I once took. “Successful people are those who give more when they feel like giving up.” I need to think on that more often.
I like that quote!!
And my father & I have a good relationship now. It took a lot of time and forgiveness. I still am open about that part of my past though because it did impact me so much. It’s always important to me to share openly about everything.
I’m so happy to hear that you have a good relationship now. I love you for being so open. You really do make a difference in all of our lives.
Great reminder for me a this point in my life. School is hard. Working plus school is even harder.
but, the end result is so sweet and I need to focus on that.
Yes you are one crazy busy woman! You amaze me with how well you manage it. You do it well. 🙂
PS – love the eyeglasses pic as your new comment avi. I need to change mine so badly. It’s so old! LOL
I am beginning to think that perseverance is part of the glue that keeps us here. It is part of what keeps our eyes moving forward and looking for new ways to be inspired.
I was listening to a call this morning for work and the speaker began to talk about how so many of us stay on the sidelines, ignore our dreams or dampen our desires because of fear. Fear can literally hold you back from everything! I had a huge light bulb moment because that has been me for so long. I have lost my perseverance and belief that I can do anything! And I KNOW I have perseverance. I’ve used it to push forward and recover from 15+ years of disordered/emotional eating and I’ve used it to work through tough moments with friends, my husband and family.
Sometimes we just have to remind ourselves that we got it all! We just have to grab ahold of the word and use it!
Jenn
Sometimes I feel the same … I have lost my perseverance and belief that I can do anything! But, at the same time there is a little voice in me that knows I CAN do ANYTHING! I just need the courage and confidence to pursue it.
Good Luck to you!
Thank you Robyn.
We always have that voice telling us we can, don’t we? It’s just taking ahold of that voice, pushing everything else aside and moving forward!
I feel like this is one area I REALLY need to work on. I don’t know why, but sometimes I feel like I give up on things – rather than really trying to see them through. On a POSITIVE note, I do believe in the power of positive thinking. Though a lot of times I have to remind myself of this (for example, right now I’m looking for another job and getting a little discouraged….), but DEEP down inside, I know everything will always work out how it’s supposed to. Sometimes, you just have to wait a long, long time. 😉 Great post, Tina!
Tina, I think your blog is fantastic, both insightful and inspirational! I have a present for you! Please check my blog when you get a chance. Have a fab day lady!
Wow. Your post hit home with me today. As Susan mentioned in her post, sometimes I think I find too much comfort in my struggles – depression, sadness, hurt…As though being strong enough to persevere through my life’s stuggles defines who I am.
Great day for a quote collector though, with your selection and those other’s mentioned in their posts!
This post is so well-timed! I have been having “issues” lately–I had to leave my job bc my health was poor and I just feel completely lost without my work–and this reminds me that it is all going to be okay.
Perseverance has been a large part of my success with eating and relationships and work and school and pretty much every aspect of my life. It has been such a huge part of me that I got “hope” tattooed onto my body so I always remember to keep on keepin’ on.
Thank you for this insightful post!
I don’t have any tattoos (bec I don’t do needles) but I love what you did for yours. Keep that hope, girl!
Wonderful advice as I continue to try and grow my business at a fast pace… just hangin’ in there some days! 🙂
“Everything turns out OK in the end… if it’s not OK, then it’s not the end”
I love all the quotes you all are sharing. Another great one.
Hi Tina! Most recently I’ve been so focused on school and getting through the last (most difficult) months and I have realized that while I need to work hard, I also need to be proud of making it this far and all that I have accomplished. It helps me to persevere knowing that all my hard work is worth the effort and I will be rewarded with a masters degree and some relaxation soon! 🙂
You’ve come so far and done so much…no reason to stop now. 🙂 Love it!
When I feel like giving up, I try to remind myself why I started working toward a particular goal in the first place. Many times it’s because I prayed about it and I felt God was telling me to go for it. In that case, if I give up I will be missing out on His awesome plan for me! It gives me the motivation to press on. 🙂
Oh great reminder. I need to take note of that one. 🙂
I would have to say my marriage first and foremost. I was married young. In the beginning we struggled with finances as most do and also with keeping our business ours. I have a very close relationship with my father. He was and is my best friend so I told him everything. Yeah, that doesn’t work so well when you get married. I know better now. Last year we went through a VERY rough patch. I honestly didn’t think we would make it. It took a lot of soul searching to realize I really didn’t want to be anywhere else but with him. I got my act together and things are great now. After almost 20 years of marriage I won’t say we have all the answers but we are very happy with how things are now.
I’m glad you two were able to push past those rough patches. Marriage certainly is work. We aren’t too far into our own so I know that a lot more trials lie ahead. But with faith in God and our relationship, we’ll have the power to push through them. Thanks for sharing!
This is such an important message around perseverance and making sure we don’t let little things trip us up.
I echo your comments and would add, God doesn’t give us more than we can handle in a day!
I am a student and at times I have let that define me. I have let the focus of my life be the test I have the next day or the paper that is due in two weeks. I just moved to a new community for school and I’m finding it really hard to make friends. I have had times were I feel really alone. However, the other day I walked into the grocery store and ran into one of my childhood best friends. I’m not sure why but I’m pretty sure the future holds hope. When times are hard I have simply reminded myself that God put me here. I have to define myself as more than a student and that by defining myself as something more I can make friends.
The first thing that comes to mind when I think about perserverance is being a teacher. Pay cuts, increasing class sizes, cutting our resources, adding more time to the day, cramming more into the curriculum, I could go on and on with the list of negative things going on in education right now. BUT, I cannot give up. I have to keep working hard to provide my class with a positive learning environment no matter what. These kids deserve it and I must continue to work as hard as I can to make school a happy place for them to learn as much as possible. So right now I think that’s the area I’m trying to perservere in the most. It’s not easy, but it’s important!! 🙂
It’s certainly not easy!!! You have more perseverance than me when it comes to all that. I know I couldn’t handle it and its honestly what makes me know I won’t go back. You really care about those students and it shows. 🙂
LOVE this one yet again. Couldn’t be more true. Perservence builds such strength and it truly gets you through when times are tough. It is the difference between those that succeed and those that falter.
I recently blogged about giving up my seven year habit of counting calories. I made the decision several days ago and have stuck with it. It is hard. It is really hard. Even when I was inpatient for my eating disorder so long ago they made me calculate the calorie amounts of my food, so it was even a part of my recovery. I have resisted the urge to count the calories of my foods and have even tried to make different things to make it harder for me to just know how many calories I’m eating. It has only been four or five days maybe, but I already feel so much better without having that burden. It’s hard but at the same time I feel more confident in myself because I’m not judging myself at the end of the day based on how many calories I put into my body. I feel more confident also because I know I can trust myself to listen to my body, even if it is hard at times. Perservering through this is something I want to keep doing and something that, as little as it may seem, has changed my life already more than I thought it would.
Here’s my comment on this post – I hope you understand what I’m trying to say – I didn’t have very much time to write this but I think it’s important
http://ulteriorharmony.blogspot.com/2010/09/reflections-on-self-love-perseverance.html
thanks again!
love
Ela
[…] Posted on September 15, 2010 by tarynehanson 30 Days of Self Love is officially half over. I hope you guys have really been learning a lot about yourselves and how you respond to certain […]
Nothing is possible without perseverance…
http://l3designs-runs.blogspot.com
I like how you mention breaking it down into smaller tasks to make it easier to keep up with perseverance. 🙂
Wow that story about you dad really hit home to me. My dad has never given me his love without conditions and it hurt immensely. I always thought I had to earn someones love. So when Hunni loved em through the faults and all I was skeptical. But now I can see and know that true love comes from a place of “I want to love you” not “I have to love you.” Perservering through that pain from my dad helped me to see my husband’s love as true.
[…] well, 15 days ago. Today’s topic is one which I seriously need to do some work on: Perseverance. I never once doubted continuing the 30 Days because I do care about it so very much. I had […]
I’m half way through this ‘30 days’ blogging challenge and today’s topic is one that’s quite timely for me: perseverance.
I haven’t lost it (my mojo) but I struggled a bit last Thursday and Friday, mainly because I had wine both nights – more than I should have – that took me over my calorie limit. I was a bit worried it was the start of something, but I’ve managed to get back / stay on track since then. And I know that I just need to persevere.
http://dietschmiet.wordpress.com/2011/07/11/30-days-day-15-perseverance/
Deb
[…] for awhile so I figured today I would type a little something about the day 15 topic – Perseverance. While there are many more important things people need to persevere through, when I first read […]
[…] looking in quickly to share my thoughts on today’s reflection on self-love: Perseverance. Tina points out that most things that are worthwhile are worth making an effort for: that we might not even value them […]
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I keep trying to persevere at moving past my last break up. And it is so hard. I had a lot of firsts with him. And I’m still trying to be friends with him, but I feel like I can be the worst friend ever. And sometimes I just don’t want to be friends. Either way, I’m trying really hard to move past my feelings.
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