the dark side

Posted: September 23, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Check out this morning's 30 DSLR post. All about challenges!

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Is it seriously already mid-day? Where has today gone?! I started off this morning like any other with some work on the computer before Makenzie woke up. Then a pumpkin infused breakfast, of course.

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Apparently, this little concoction has been floating around blog land the past couple of days. I mixed up some pumpkin, Justin’s maple almond butter, and maple syrup as a topper for some waffles. It sounded good to me and I went for it, then read others doing the same thing while devouring my own. Great minds think alike! 😉

I spent the majority of the morning hours hanging out with fellow mom friends in Makenzie’s playgroup. Now, I have a bit of down time before spending the majority of my afternoon at the doctor’s office. I have my 6 month prenatal appointment today. Really?! I’m already that far along? I have only 4 months left?

Ohhh…didn’t you know pregnancy is closer to 10 months than the popularly stated 9 months? Fooling you into a shorter time span is part of the dark side of pregnancy. Check out some of the other dark sides of pregnancy.

Say hello to Pamela Anderson.

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Your boobs grow. It may sound appealing, but trust me its not. They get in the way and cause too much discomfort – like an achy back and boob sweat. Yep, I said boob sweat. Then, you get to look forward to them swelling up even more after the baby. I literally wore a size F bra the first 2 months after M. SIZE F!!!!! Only to have them deflate to floppy things later on. But you know? I prefer the floppy.

You consider buying stock in panty liners.

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Extra trips to the bathroom during pregnancy may not be breaking news. But did you know that sneezing, laughing, and coughing can cause leakage? Call me grandma!

You also consider buying stock in prunes.

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Even with all those trips to the bathroom, you don’t go go. Likely because a baby has your intestine pinned to your rib cage and unable to process anything. It makes for very pleasurable gas. And one thing to remember for when your time comes? Get the enema! It can save you from an embarrassing accident. Oh yes, that happens on the delivery table!

Why is there hair…there?!

Pregnancy may help give you more luscious locks on your head, but the hair growth extends elsewhere too. Like your stomach….lower back…your Pamela Anderson zone. Dang hormones! And get used to being hairy overall. Shaving becomes a near impossibility by the end. Welcome to France! Or the 70s. Pick your mental image.

Huff huff huff.

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With the baby pushing all your organs around the easiest tasks will wind you. I literally get out of breath going up the stairs. Physically, I don’t feel tired but my body just. can’t. breathe!

There is nothing you can do about stretch marks.

They’re genetic. Did your mom have stretch marks? Then, you likely will too. Save the $ on those fancy creams for something you really want. Like a massage. Just remember to verify they don’t rub you raw through a sheet first. 😉

The cruelest joke in the world.

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Say good-bye to quality sleep long before that baby comes. You would think mother nature would allow you to stockpile sleep in the last half of pregnancy to prepare for all the night waking a newborn brings. You would think. Potty breaks, painful hips, a limited number of sleeping positions, and just plain ole can’t sleep issues plague you like no other.

So, there you have it. If you have a kid – you likely got a chuckle. If you want a kid in the future – I gave you  some truth. If you aren’t sure – I apologize for scaring you from ever wanting children. 😉

What’s the dark side of something that you can share? Running? Your job? Being married? Living with roommates? Cooking? Anything!

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67 Comments to “the dark side”
  1. Holy moly! Pregnancy is my third biggest fear and labor takes second place, so this list is a little scary lol!

  2. I love your honesty with pregnancy! My sister in law says she wants to write a book about all the things no one tells you – mostly because they are too embarrassed to talk about it. Or write a book about it! I am glad I have her to give it to me straight.

  3. […] Thursday evening! Can you taste Friday yet? I’m glad you all found humor in my dark side of pregnancy post from earlier today. As much as I joke, I do love being pregnant. Even when things don’t go as […]

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