Thisclose To Binging

Posted: May 31, 2011 at 5:27 pm

I did not want to go to the gym this morning. In fact, my biggest motivation for going was to keep myself from giving in to emotional eating. A combination of things played together last night, which I won’t get into for personal reasons, and I knew if I skipped out on my workout I would end up in old patterns easily. Also, before I move further, I want to acknowledge that I feel MUCH better already but still wanted to be real with you all on my recent emotional roller coaster. 😉

I’ve mentioned before that my journey to overcoming binge eating never fully ends. Using food to compensate for stress and other emotions is a natural tendency for me. However, every healthy habit I choose to make reinforces my desire to keep on a healthier, happier path…so gym it was!

I have my first 10K race this Saturday (holy cow!) and had one last speed session on my training plan before the race. Once I got going on the treadmill, I knew that the original plan that included only 1/4 mile recovery periods simply would not fly with me this morning. I always strive to complete my planned workouts (remember my spaztastic plan needs), but I also know the vitality of putting my body’s needs first. I ended up forming a compromise and kept the speed work but upped the recovery time between each interval. I ended up with this:

Mile Speed Interval
0.0 – 1.0 6.0 – 6.5 mph warm - up
1.0 – 1.5 7.8 mph speed work
1.5 – 2.0 6.3 mph recovery
2.0 – 2.5 7.8 mph speed work
2.5 – 3.0 6.3 mph recovery
3.0 – 3.5 7.5 mph speed work
3.5- 4.0 6.5 mph final stretch

I finished my 4 mile run in 35:35…which is an 8:53 pace! Even lengthening my recoveries and dropping the speed a smidge on my last speed interval, I banged out the best pace I’ve ever seen for a 4 miler. Goes to show…modifications don’t have to lessen the effectiveness of a workout!

And even though my legs felt like jello, I went on to finish up the weights portion of today’s workout. I have to have my strength training!

Move Reps Weight
stationary barbell lunge 15, 15, 15 45 #
narrow grip lat pulldown 12, 12, 12 75 #
step - ups 15, 15, 12 10 # per hand
overhand barbell row 12, 10, 10 50 #
rear delt shoulder raise 10, 10, 10 10 # per hand
dumbbell bicep curl 10, 10, 10 15 # per hand

I left the gym a new woman with my frustrations and sadness left behind in a puddle of sweat! I then continued my healthy decisions the remainder of the day to keep that feel good momentum going. Delicious, healthy eats included. Get a load of lunch!


That wrap is no ordinary wrap. It’s an explosion of flavah! I spread a whole wheat tortilla with a Laughing Cow blue cheese wedge. Then, I topped it off with mashed sweet potato, 1/2 cup black beans, and a drizzle of smoky BBQ sauce.


Three words. Yuuu. Uuuuuu. MMMMMM!!!!!!!! This savory combo even outdid my snack du’jour – an entire mango and Chobani pineapple yogurt. Bring on paradise!


As I ate this snack, I felt at peace again and also so proud that I had not succumbed to the pull to turn to food for comfort. Today challenged me more than any time I can remember in recent history. I was literally *thisclose* to binging. Only by the grace of God did I have the strength to turn away. Little did I know the quote from my devotional would hold so true for me today. “It doesn’t matter what you’re trying to accomplish. It’s all a matter of self-discipline”. Every decision brings us one step closer or one step further from the life we hope to lead. Today, trusting God gave me the strength to choose wisely.

  • What healthy decision did you make today?
  • PLEASE read this woman’s story and her display of hope and zest for life. Consider donating, as EVERY small act can add up to something amazing!

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70 Comments to “Thisclose To Binging”
  1. What an AWESOME turnaround, Tina! I could literally feel the momentum shift that happened in your day, and I loved reading about it! God is so good! So glad you leaned on Him and found the strength to make it a beautiful day 🙂

  2. Maura says:

    To sleep in. I had the alarm set to get up and work out, but after a night of tossing and turning, I knew an extra hour would do my body good, and I brought my gym clothes to throw on for an after work session!

  3. That wrap looks AWESOME!! And thanks for sharing that post from Caitlin’s blog, I definitely want to donate!!

  4. Tina high five for listening to your mind and body! woowhoo! I think it’s especially hard for females to not eat when stressed out, and I admire that you talk about it and are open about it too.

  5. Good for you, what a turnaround!

  6. Tina–your awareness is awesome and your willpower to get yourself to the gym even though you didn’t want to go is inspirational. Great job on your run! And I hope all is well in your life.

    • Tina says:

      Things are great. Old demons of my emotional side sometimes get the best of me…but I have learned over the years to recognize it, push through, and move on. Thanks for the love!

  7. jobo says:

    Wow. You write with such transparency, you never cease to amaze. Kudos for putting this out there, yet again. It goes to show that it can be overcome, but as you say, it’s never truly ending. Your run time is awesome and I am excited for your 10K!! You are proof that you can start from scratch, basically and come right back!! I am chanelling that as I keep at my runs to, to get back to that length as well. and YUM on the wrap!! I am loving black beans lately too! Just had an early/light dinner before Barre N9Ne tonight of black beans, brown rice and veggie stir fry. YUM YUM 🙂

  8. You will ROCK YOUR 10K with that speed work! That is way faster than any of my speedwork and I pulled out a :54. Sub :50 :)?

    • Tina says:

      Hahaha! I think I would keel over before hitting sub :50. Although that would be awesome. I would be super duper pleased with a :54!

  9. That wrap looks so good!! I would never think to add sweet potato to black beans, but I’m sure it is good!

  10. So proud of you Tina, way to recognize what your body wants and needs.

  11. SO RAD. when i was in eating disorder treatment, we learned all about “opposite action”, which was doing the exact opposite of whatever negative behavior we wanted to do. way to go… and oh my goodness that wrap looks amazing!

  12. Lisa says:

    I HEAR YA!!!!! Sometimes something stupid triggers me and I want to turn to food. Going to the gym is a good way to distract yourself from it and often times I feel a lot better after getting the endorphins going.

    Hang in there! I’m glad you were able to get past the desire.

  13. That’s so good that you can recognize your motivations and take action… I have a really hard time with that and love to come up with excuses.

    Your wrap looks amazing BTW, I need to start making more sweet potatoes!

  14. Good for you for not giving in to your craving and stress. I went to the gym for a great cardio/strength training session with my trainer.

  15. I still fight the battle of not binging almost daily! Because my biggest binge time is usually at night before bed – and I’ve already done my workout.. I can’t really use the gym as an escape. But boy, I bet it would be nice.

    Honestly – with the urge to binge before bed.. I try to just go to sleep early. I know I am not hungry.. because I can fall asleep..and if I can sleep.. without my tummy grumblin and keeping me awake.. then its fine.

  16. I LOVE the sound of that wrap – yum!

    The 4-mile workout looks GREAT miss speedy, and the ST one does too – congrats for not giving in!! You’re doing great – keep it up!

  17. Anna says:

    I made the decision to get active and completed my planks and a little yoga to round out the day. I told myself it would wake me up and it did!

  18. lindsay says:

    I am so glad God gave you that peace. Its like holding your breath and finally letting go knowing that God is in control. Amazing Tina, thank you for sharing such truth.

  19. Jennifer Rahn says:

    Oh, Sweetie. You’ve been having a rough time lately, haven’t you? I’m so sorry. It inspires me that you’re so transparent and honest with us. I hope that you get back tenfold in support what you’re putting out.

    Please know that you’re in my prayers. Your strength and actions today are truly amazing. There is really no limit to our inner strength if we tap into it, is there?

  20. Rock on, girl! It’s only by the grace of God that we can make it though any day. Keep pushing on!

  21. Errign says:

    I made the healthy decision to run this morning & do some simple body weight strength moves. I also made the decision to get back on track after being veryyyy snacky yesterday.

  22. Great job Tina. I’m so proud of you. If you need anything, I’m always here. I hope everything is ok. Keep your chin up!

  23. Thank you so much for your honesty 🙂

  24. Lauren says:

    I often feel like I supplement exercise for eating. There are some time when I feel as though I can’t eat as much unless I exercise which I also know isn’t healthy. I definitely understand when you say you’ve overcome your battle for the most part, but you’re still human and it’s normal to have these feelings from time to time. I think the difference between being in a healthy place is that when we recognize these things, we change the behavior rather than to give in to it.

    On a separate note, GREAT job on the workout today!

  25. Jess says:

    Nice job pushing down that urge to return to an old habit. You are so right – just one step either way can make all the difference. SO glad that workout got you right back into fighting form again. You are so good at pulling yourself out of “downer” moments. I envy that about you – I’m not so sure I’m nearly as good at it as you are! Way to go! PS. I had chobani pineapple for my PM snack today and wish I had some cheerios to toss on top, hehe. 🙂

  26. i’m so glad you overcame the temptation…i can honestly say that i found myself eating a little emotionally this morning and was pretty frustrated for a minute. but we can’t change the past, so i went on a walk and felt infinitely better! learning about yourself is so worth the journey!

    • Tina says:

      Sorry about whatever led you to those emotions. But great job just picking up and moving on. I know how hard that can be sometimes.

  27. Coco says:

    That’s a great treadmill workout. I hope it’s your last hard workout before your 10k. I find that it makes a big difference to have two rest days before a race — or at least lower body rest days.

    The pull of emotional eating can be hard to resist — glad you found the strength, and glad you shared.

  28. Missy says:

    Thank God, girl.
    Going to the gym as a healthier option is one thing. Now deal with the yuck that’s been going on. Hard, but I sense from your post you are doing just that.

  29. Tina awesome job on your run!!!! You are so ready for this 10K and I know you’ll do great!

    Healthy eating is tough — and you are so strong for stepping away from the situation and not falling into that trap.

  30. Sarah says:

    Hi Tina. I read your blog every day but not sure if I’ve commented before.

    I just wanted to tell you that I think you did actually use food for comfort. You just used it in a positive way. Eating food that you know will keep you energised, satisfied and physically comfortable. As opposed to overeating food you know will do the opposite. I think turning to things that we know will harm us as a response to an emotional situation is the opposite of self care. It doesn’t really come from a place of wanting to feel better, just something automatic we may have done in the past before we learned a better way.

    We all just want to feel good:)

    • Tina says:

      Thanks for that perspective Sarah! I think you’re right. I used food for positive comfort in caring for myself. Great point. 🙂

  31. A healthy decision I made today was donating towards Tonya’s cause – I knew I was making a difference!!

  32. Robyn says:


    Hang in there girl! You are so strong; remember to Fully Rely On God to help you through the hard times. Love the quote at the end of this post.

  33. Karen says:

    I really admire your courage for sharing your struggles with us. Being able to recognize when you are about to eat your emotions is a huge step in the recovery process.

  34. I do weights at the gym for the first time in months today. I felt great and realized I’m not as limited as I thought with my injury and felt great.

  35. Priyanka says:

    I ate consciously today and did not drink any cola. I am drinking way too much cola these days.

  36. Cori says:

    All I could think while reading your post was PMS!!!!! I have yet to figure out why God has played that mean joke on us. I am glad your strength and perseverance pulled you through. I am not sure I would have been as successful

  37. This post could not have come at a better time. I just got home this evening from being in the hospital with my baby who has been in there for 6 days. Luckly we are now home but the second I sat down finally I had to fight the urge to resort to binging. I thought it through and realize it is becuase of the stress of having a baby admitted to the hospital. It is not easy and feels like I am walking a tight rope right now but your post really hit home and I appreciate your honesty.

    • Tina says:

      Oh, sweetie! I would have wanted to turn to food then too. Way to stay strong and realize that it wouldn’t have helped. You don’t need any extra stress on your shoulders from food when facing such a hard situation.

  38. I totally relate to this post. I have been suffering from binging/emotional eating for the last couple of months, ever since completing my marathon. Interestingly enough, I think the emotional eating stems from an emptiness. The emptiness of not having fitness goals, significant other, joy in work, etc. But I KNOW this is not the way to solve my problems. Reading through your thought process gave me some ways to re-think my own process. So THANK YOU for sharing 🙂

  39. I definitely can relate- although every time I’ve tried to get myself out the door for a workout when I feel like binging I haven’t succeeded. You give me hope that it’s possible 🙂

  40. Jeannie says:

    Thanks for sharing this as I deal with this too. Great job not giving in and getting a good workout instead. That wrap looks awesome! Right up my alley. I love laughing cow blue cheese wedges and the queaso ones too. Love spreading them on sandwich thins instead of something like mayo or on wraps.

  41. Khushboo says:

    Wow girl, fantastic run time and even more fantastic that you diverted your binge energy into something more productive! Love that bit about listening to your body and it actually being more effective- SO TRUE! We really underestimate ourselves.

    I was so tempted to snooze my alarm and skip my workout entirely but after much mental debate I made it and it was a great session! After a speedy run, I managed to break my looong weight-training hiatus! Not looking fwd to tomorrow morning 😉

  42. Hi Tina,
    Thank you for being so honest and sharing this! First, I am so glad you were able to quickly turn this around and sweat it out instead. Exercise is such an amazing way to do this!
    Second, good for you on the 10k! You should be very proud of this 🙂 I remember being on cloud 9 after I finished my first 10k, it’s a hefty distance to keep a fast pace!

  43. Mandy says:

    Glad to hear you are feeling better. Your wrap looks amazing!

  44. I’m really glad you found the strength to resist the binge! That really shows how far you’ve come! be so proud!! Also, lovin’ the looks of that wrap! Yum!

  45. Mark Ward says:

    The mango(and everything else) looks delicious. Great job in resisting the urge! Inspiring!!

  46. I went to zumba. It was some exercise, btu more importantly, it was mentally FUN!

  47. Whoa! That’s one speedy 4 miler!

    And it’s great that you’ve realized your binge triggers and how to avoid them. I’m so impressed by that ability.

  48. […] You know what bothers me? The fact that many times we will quickly own up to our weaknesses or things we can improve. We will readily zone in on what we deem “icky” about our bodies or negative qualities on which we could work. Then, on the flip side, when a compliment comes our way we bat it down and swat it aside. We nullify it and make it the exception to the standard. We shy away from declaring our strengths. I know I do it too. Even my recent posts have shared some struggling moments of my life and personal vulnerabilities. […]

  49. ok first of all that wrap?! insanely delicious looking…second of all I LOVE walking into the gym feeling all out of sorts, and leaving feeling so much better, working hard, getting a good sweat on–you know what its all about!!

    you are staying so focused and really working at this! i love your motivation!!!

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