30 days of self love – one life

Posted: September 20, 2010 at 9:00 am

I hope you all had fabulous weekends! If you need to play catch up you can visit the posts below. :) And did you know that we only have 10 more days of this month left? Wow!

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Please don’t take what I’m about to say in a depressing manner. We only have one shot at life. One. Then we die and can no longer be a part of this world.

That is the cold, hard truth. We like to pretend we can avoid it or that second chances abound. When it boils down to it, though, they don’t. Second chances don’t truly exist because we can never go back to reclaim any lost time or change the past. We can only strive to make the best decisions from this moment forward.

How exactly does this fit in with self love? Well, if we want to live the most fulfilling and satisfied lives as possible we need to love ourselves. We can waste our lives away with worry, regret, doubt, and negativity. We can spend too much time concerned with trivial matters of what size pants we wear or what other people think of our hopes and dreams. Instead of taking the reins and making life the best possible, we float along lost and broken.

Each day we choose what to focus our energy on – relationships that mean the most to us, how we look in the mirror, working hard at a personal goal, the fight we had with a friend, and on and on. We decide whether to end our days feeling like we experienced life or like it slipped by. I always try to keep the perspective that at the end of my life I won’t care about how flat my stomach was or awards I received. I will care if I lived with joy and surrounded myself with love.

[source]

Fortunately, I don’t know when the end of my life will come. And that means I have to start making my life something I’m happy with right now. Why waste a single moment? We need to keep what truly provides a fulfilling life in perspective. Live that way today.

What can you focus on today so you end your day knowing you cultivated your best life? What should you ignore that tries to rob you of joy? I will focus on spending time with my family. I will ignore the frustration and doubt I initially felt this morning when I did my weekly check-up on some blog related stuff. It doesn’t matter and its one week.

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52 Comments to “30 days of self love – one life”
  1. I just love this Tina…

    I don’t find the idea depressing at all! :) Actually I find it quite empowering! The wonderful thing about our life is we can change it, improve it, better it OR waste it every single day. We have the ability to do it all, or nothing at all.

    I used to waste and waste and waste my days worrying about how I looked to obsession, wondering what others thought about me, worrying that I was never going to be thin enough/good enough/pretty enough. Waste, waste, waste.

    But now I decide, I choose, I claim my days. I decide to make them beautiful and full of love, joy and life.

    I think this post is one of my favs Tina. Because of it’s simplicity and power that the idea holds.

  2. Marg says:

    I really like this one – it’s so true and something I need to think about each day. Life’s too short to be unhappy. Today I’ll try to make the best out of my workday and know that eventually the right fit will come along.

  3. This post came at the perfect time for me. I was feeling kind of down on myself for eating poorly over the weekend– lots of pizza and cookies. But I just need to focus on the here and now– there’s no way to go back and make different decisions, so I need to work on staying positive about what I have now– the present!

  4. Lisa says:

    This is so true. Since I was 16, I have suffered with disordered eating. I turn 22 in November so that will be about 6 years of my life that have been controlled by my weight and what it says on the scale every morning. My junior year of college (I’m a senior now) was spent me being depressed. I barely went out and I isolated myself from my friends, which just made the situation worse. It makes me sad to think that I wasted part of my life away. This year, I have been working hard to be social and get out of my “rut.” In fact, this weekend I made an effort to go out every night. It was such a releif to not think about my weight and how much of a struggle its been to lose my extra pounds that I put on from being depressed and emotionally eating. I am proud of myself and I feel like I am finally making a change for the better. Thank you for posting Tina! =) This came at the perfect time to remind me that I only have one life to live, one experience in college, and do everything I can to not stress about the little things. I am in control of my reality.

    • Tina says:

      I loved hearing how this applied to you. And while you may never get that time back when you isolated yourself, you can use it now to motivate yourself to make each day the best possible. That won’t mean every day is fantastic…but it doesn’t have to lead to where you’ve been either. :)

  5. Emily says:

    Hi Tina – another great post. I find it empowering as well. I think that it is really important that we never take any of our time here for granted. It is precious just as our lives are. I’m going to focus on finding joy in everything in my life (even the piles of homework I have staring at me!!). :)

  6. Becca says:

    So, this is incredible timing.
    Our church just started the One Month to Live book/sermon series (onemonthtolive.com). It’s about living as if you only had 30 days left. What would you do differently? Et cetera. The tag line is “Thirty days to a no-regrets life.”
    You never know when you’re going to go, so you’ve got to make the time you do have count!

  7. Penny Lane says:

    I love when Bible Study and this coincide, even if it is just vaguely. It gives me that extra little lightbulb in the morning to say oh yeah!
    Today I will focus on repentance for ignoring the fact that I am a Holy Vessel of God. To have ignored this for soo long has allowed my heart to be opened to the tempter and temptation.
    2 Cor. 7:10

  8. Wow, what timing! I subscribe to an email newsletter called Sabbath Moment (www.terryhershey.com) that comes Monday mornings, and today’s mirrored your post. And it is an answer to my most recent prayer. Guess I better pay attention!

    Lately I have been feeling discouraged with a lack of direction in my life. “Please, God,” I have been asking, “Just show me my purpose ~ I NEED to know where you want me to go…I am tired of wandering aimlessly. I NEED a road map. Certainty.”

    So, while I am WAITING, I am wasting the time I should be living. In my discouragement I am failing to love myself ~ and other’s. In focusing on worrying about my future, I think I missed the entire summer. I am letting my need for certainty about my purpose rob me of my joy for today.

    “Until you have your life and self figured out, I have a suggestion. Live today. Live this day, with this self, without holding back. Today – savor, doubt, embrace, question, wrestle, give, risk, love, fall down, get up, accept your incomplete and fractured self, know that anything worth doing is worth doing badly, speak from your whole heart, and whenever you can, lavish excessive compassion and mercy on anyone who crosses your path.” Terry Hershey

    Thanks again, Tina!

    • Tina says:

      Okay and how’s this for a Twilight moment. I was feeling a bit frustrated this morning for the SAME things as you. I get so flustered over my path and if I’m putting time and energy into the right things. What you shared from your thoughts and from the message you got in your email today totally uplifted me. Thank you!!

  9. Ahhh love this. Very very true. I know I waste too much time worrying and being negative and doubting myself. And I *know* as I’m doing that that I’ll never get this time back, but it’s so hard! We really do need to value the time we have.

  10. Tina I don’t think this was depressing at all. We do all have one life and one body, and I’m going to take care of both! I don’t want to keep missing out on the things that make me happy, and I don’t want other people to miss out by not knowing me! Maybe that sounds conceited, its not meant to sound that way. I think I have a lot to offer others, and I can’t keep myself hidden all the time.

    You are so right: why spend your wonderful life being negative?

  11. So true. Life is WAY too short to spend it worrying about things that don’t matter or that aren’t worth our time and tears. I know I don’t want to look back on my life and wonder where it went..

  12. Susan says:

    Love this one!! Last January, after quitting my full-time job, I made a resolution to “LIVE life.” Little did I know that I was putting the wheels in motion to completely overhaul my life and become the happiest I’ve ever been. Every day I wake up and ask myself how I’m going to live this day to the fullest. After spending so many days just “surviving” in my old job, I never want to feel like I’m wasting another moment again. Even today, I’m pulling 16 hours away working at my two jobs. I could be groaning, but I find a lot of joy in training my clients, and I’m excited to learn about the running products we have at my new store. It will be tiring, but I think I can still come home with a smile on my face at the end of the day ;)

  13. I always need this reminder. I will focus on my family and dogs and not let my job get to me!

  14. Great post! I am trying to make more of a conscious decision to live in the moment. Although I feel like I’ve always done a pretty good job at this, sometimes I get caught up in the to-do’s and lose the moment.

    So cheers to savoring the moments! …even Mondays :)

  15. ashleigh says:

    Hey Tina, I love this post. I think it’s one of my favorites of the 30 days so far. You are so right… we all need to live life to the fullest starting today. There’s no sense in wondering “what if…” and wasting time being negative.

  16. Eliza says:

    How simple is it to see that we can only be happy now, and there will never be a time when it is not now…

    Moving slowly through a to-do list of meetings, errands, and loads of homework, all with a bit of a tummy ache, is easily an unpleasant way to spend a beautiful fall day when I would rather be hiking around in the woods.
    However, my goal for the day is to breathe deeply and enjoy the feeling of wearing my slippers around, to taste carefully my food, to take a break for a run and relish in the sun on my face.
    To-dos need to happen, but if I can find something pleasurable in them and focus on that, perhaps my day will seem less like a chore.

    (also, I posted about loving others- the saturday prompt- on my blog)

    • Tina says:

      Yea I realized that I missed linking back this morning so I will do so tonight. Sorry!

      And I got caught up in to-dos this morning and almost let it rob me of taking my own life by the reins today and finding joy. I’m posting about it tonight too.

      • Eliza says:

        Oh- sorry Tina, thats not what I meant! I just wanted to let you know that I was trying to catch up- and I wanted you to read my post if you had time. No need to worry about linking. Good luck with your to-dos, take a break for me- I’m swamped!

  17. Kristy says:

    You said it “we waste” time, energy, passion…. The list continues. My motto : “Be better today than yesterday” Thats all…

  18. Maren says:

    I remember the days when all I thought about was calories, body image and weight. I know during those years I was in college, going to parties, cramming for exams, having bbq’s at the beach, working a number of different jobs and spending the first exciting years with my amazing boyfriend. I know I did all these things, but I don’t remember them. I was so blinded by my focus on food, the love handles I had grown since high school ended and how I hated that version of myself and longed for my thinner person. I spend every day, now, keeping those thoughts at bay. I want to remember the bbq’s and the beautiful moments with my boyfriend at the beach. As I get older I realize how much more I just want to love life and I don’t care so much about physical stuff. I wish I felt like this at 18 and I hadn’t lost so many years to negativity. You can NEVER get those days back.

  19. Awesome message today, Tina – I loved reading this and enjoyed the reminder to focus on the big picture, rather than small, trivial things that really, when you think about it, don’t mean that much at all. Thanks for always helping me focus on the positive!

  20. Another winner. Thanks.

    I often find myself looking up and wondering where the day has gone. Sometimes it’s for a good reason (I’ve been writing and the hours have flown by). Sometimes it’s not.

    I’m with whoever said above: I don’t want to look back at the end of my life and wonder where it went.

    Need to focus on spending quality time with the Boyfriend, the dogs and my family … not worrying about the number on the scale.

  21. This is what I eventually hope that people will realize –

    PEOPLE, stop wasting your lives celebricizing, categorizing people as “beautiful” or not just because you’ve got some kind of issue with them (or yourselves).

  22. [...] on 30 Days of Self Love and Reflection the topic is One Life. Tina brings up a very important topic about living every day to the fullest. Every day I know I [...]

  23. Holly says:

    SUCH a great reminder that we truly don’t know when our time will come! It sounds SO silly, but it’s part of why often times when I fly (I am TERRIFIED of flying), I will have candy or some kind of treat….I figure if the plane goes down, at least I’d have had my candy! I know that sounds morbid, but we need to think like that more….when we think back on our lives, sizes and numbers won’t matter – not one bit!

  24. Jess says:

    Similar to what Marg said – I’m trying to make the most of today, even though that involves a day at a job that I don’t love. If I can make the most of it, that’s much better than the alternative – which is me sitting around wallowing in negativity. So my goal so far is working – of course, another great reminder, Tina!!

  25. [...] out today’s 30 Days post! Only 10 more days left in the series, which amazes [...]

  26. i want my focus to be the constant building of relationships with my friends and family, snuggling with my puppies, and loving God with every breath. honestly, it’s hard to do all of those things all of the time, but I know that my life is too short to not try :)

  27. Julie says:

    Such perfect timing! Just last night I was thinking about how lately I’ve found myself shooing the kids away at different times during the day and how would I feel if my time with them were to end and I hadn’t taken every single opportunity that I have while they are still young enough to WANT to spend time with me. They are so precious and what a waste to compare computer time to real physical contact with people.

    Therefore, I deleted my Facebook bookmark today and count that as #1 of a time suck that I can erase from life and I probably won’t even be the wiser…but my kids, I KNOW FOR SURE, will notice me on the computer less. I want to focus more on face to face contact with people – less on virtual encounters.

    That’s not to say that I won’t continue participating on 30 DSLR and visiting a few blogs that REALLY speak to me ;-)
    But this will be done when the children are asleep or at school and NO other times.

  28. Ela says:

    hey, I blogged about yesterday’s post too and it’s a very very close thing for me! It was powerful and I was so grateful. I hope you got to see it.

    Today’s is superpowerful too – it seems like you just keep on ramping it up.

    Still mid-morning here, so I’ll get my blog post out about it a bit later.
    love
    Ela

  29. Kelly says:

    another awesome blog….and something I so needed to hear today. I get all caught up in the little things and sometimes foget to just enjoy life as it is.

  30. So, so true. Sometimes it’s a tough message to swallow, but it’s just the way it is. I know that if my life ended tomorrow, I wouldn’t have wanted my last day to have been spent complaining about 5 pounds or lamenting the state of my thighs.

  31. Stacy says:

    I will focus on another day that I am blessed to have a job. I will focus on the positive messages from these amazing posts which inspired and helped me this weekend :) I will focus on enjoying the little things in life and try not too worry to much about the big things. I will try to be present and live in the moment :)

  32. homecookedem says:

    I focus on my blessings as much as possible these days. Just today as I was driving home I started tearing up just thinking how my life is so wonderful and everything I’ve ever wanted. I have a house full of love, the husband of my dreams, and a sweet healthy baby on the way. What more can I ask for.

  33. Caitlin says:

    Tina, this is such a valid point that we all like to overlook and ignore! The beauty in every day is that it is unknown but also that we truly never know what life changing events and decisions lie within them. This was anything but a harsh truth – more like a beautiful reminder to make the most of it! Thanks! xo

  34. Ela says:

    Tina!

    Reflecting on this post has helped me to lift out of a major funk today – here’s my blog about it

    http://ulteriorharmony.blogspot.com/2010/09/heading-to-farm-view-from-hereup-for.html
    love to hear your thoughts.
    thanks so much
    love
    Ela

  35. ML says:

    I really enjoyed your post today!

  36. Crystal says:

    I so easily get consumed by negative thoughts about myself that my boyfriend often thinks I’m mad at him, but really I am just feeling uncomfortable with myself. I have to remind myself that it’s a waste of time to worry about things that don’t even matter and that my negative thoughts are irrational anyway. My goal today and this week is to not let negative thoughts consume me and dictate my moods. I’m sure my boyfriend will appreciate this. If we only get one life, we should do our best to enjoy it!

  37. Jen says:

    Love today’s topic! Very thought provoking. I wish I had read it this post this morning, but I’ll definitely keep this one in mind all day tomorrow! Thank you!

  38. [...] Only Live Once Posted on September 22, 2010 by tarynehanson Monday‘s topic for 30 Days of Self Love was how we choose to spend our time in this, the one life we [...]

  39. [...] scares me a little because I suspect it might be a bit depressing. Or confronting. Or both. It is: One life to live. Please don’t take what I’m about to say in a depressing manner. We only have one shot at life. [...]

  40. Deborah says:

    I tried not to get too ‘woe is me’ ish in this blog post. I have so many regrets and as I wrote it what occurred to me is that I’m STILL deferring things and avoiding things. “When I’m slim (or not fat), I will do…”

    Suddenly I’m 43 years old and wondering WTF happened to my life. It can’t continue and I hope that the program I’m currently on is one of the first steps.

    http://dietschmiet.wordpress.com/2011/07/16/30-days-day-20-one-life/

    Deb

  41. Wow! Congrats Peter on the new job and this new opportunity/twist in the road for you family! Is does make decisions like this easier when the stars seem to align :)

    And you DID have me worried for a sec!

  42. [...] own food in a place where I don’t have kitchen access.  So, how does this fit in with today’s reflection on self-love? Tina talks about how we have to seize the day – there’s no point in wasting our life [...]

  43. Xandria says:

    I will definitely focus on spending time with my dad before I move to school again. :) I will temporarily ignore my worries about how I’m paying for school, because I will be able to afford it, and I will pay for it when the time comes.

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