I’m Angry

Posted: December 6, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Apparently I have hit a roller coaster of emotions. You all may remember how down on myself I felt on Friday. Then, Saturday I went through the day on a high – hopping from fabulous hospital tours to Christmas parades to a surprise party. Yesterday morning I continued to have that natural smile, joy, and ease while at church. Then, the afternoon came. Things went downhill. The afternoon turned into evening and culminated in a downpour of tears. When Peter asked what bothered me, the following came out - “I’m angry!!!”

I’m angry that I am consistently in pain.

I’m angry that being upset and crying last night caused a contraction.

I’m angry that I can’t even stretch my legs out at night to help get comfortable without ending up with a charlie horse in my calf.


I’m angry that I never feel rested because I can’t sleep at night.

I’m angry that I can no longer workout.

I’m angry that I feel I have no “me time” anymore because of it.

I’m angry that Peter has been so busy for weeks on end helping fix his friend’s car and work on his brother’s house that he’s never there to give me a break when I really need it. Sure, he’s there for the planned activities, but those don’t give me rest.

I’m angry we had planned a movie night with Eclipse and some down time and a Blizzard I was craving after not having one in 2 months, but it didn’t happen because of a problem with the car he is working on.


I’m angry that I’m angry about that because I completely understand his need to help them out. After all, they have done a lot for us (especially his brother) in the past.

I’m angry that it adds guilt on top of my anger, exhaustion, frustration.

I’m angry that I wonder if I emotionally ate because after just tossing together two eggs and toast for dinner, I grabbed a serving of ice cream from the freezer, even though I knew it wouldn’t satisfy and wasn’t what I was craving.

I’m angry that I questioned my eating habits because it was literally one serving and not a big deal.

I’m angry that I don’t have much more time left with just Makenzie as my child, but I don’t have energy to play with her like I want to.


I’m angry that I have more days where I have to struggle with my body image and feeling beautiful after that not being a problem I regularly faced over the past couple of years.

I’m angry that I have needed to vent more often here on the blog. It gets old, I know. I don’t like reading blogs that bemoan things all the time and certainly don’t want to become one myself.

I’m angry that I still have to meal plan for the week and head to the grocery store today, when I really just want to stay in bed.

I’m angry that I thought I slept in until 9:30 and forced myself out of bed because of needing to get things done. Plus, Peter had called in sick to finish the car but watched M for me to get extra rest and I didn’t want to keep him too long. Apparently, our alarm clock time got messed up and it was actually only 8:30. I could have stayed in bed a bit longer like I wanted to.

I’m angry because today I don’t even really feel that angry. I just feel empty and that scares me more. Perhaps I’m too tired to feel angry for more than 12 hours? But enough about being angry…life awaits.

Question of the day – do you ever feel angry for feeling angry? What types of things make you angry?

Don't forget to bid on my peppermint mocha fudge over at Tina from Carrots N Cake's bake sale!!! Pretty please!


70 Comments to “I’m Angry”
  1. I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time- just be confident that it will pass! And the blog is for you- don’t be angry you’re using it to vent:)

  2. Karen says:

    I let little things make me angry, things that I usually don’t have any control over. Sometimes I lash out in my anger and then I am consumed with guilt for getting angry over something silly.

  3. Oh, Tina 🙁 -hugs- I remember those feelings all too well towards the end of both of my pregnancies. What helped me with the pain, the emotions, and needing time by myself was bubble baths. Every night I would take a long bath with a book and soak all the issues away as best I could.

    Maybe try giving that a shot..after M is down for bed get a favorite book and climb into the tub a while. Candles and incense wouldn’t hurt, either 😉 Believe me girl, it works wonders.

    And by the way..just in case no one has told you this today, you are BEAUTIFUL. Absolutely gorgeous, glowing, and amazing. I know you feel awful these days but I promise you it will all get better soon <3

    PS. On the subject of not being able to play with M, when I got like that towards the end of my pregnancy with my youngest I spent a lot of time cuddling with my first daughter, reading books, and watching movies with her. It doesn't have to be crazy active or even active at all to count! 🙂

  4. Tina, THANK YOU for sharing this. You shouldn’t be worried about venting too much on your blog. These are real emotions that we ALL go through but don’t talk about. Too often we try to paint our lives as being picture perfect, but they rarely ever are. All that does is build up unrealistic expectations for the rest of us. I’d much rather you talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly stuff of pregnancy rather than portray it all as flowers and butterflies.

    Just last night I had a mini-meltdown. I was angry that I didn’t accomplish everything that I wanted to over the weekend, I was angry that I slept in later than I wanted to, and I didn’t get to talk to my boyfriend as much as I wanted because he was preparing for a final in his graduate class. Silly stuff.

    I’m sure these feelings will pass soon enough. And if they don’t… well the end is in sight! Soon enough you’ll have in your arms the little guy that you’re going through all of this stuff for.

  5. I get SO angry all the time. Its always little things that really get me though. Like the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to put on his shoes. Seriously, he rolls his pants up. Puts each shoe on, then fixes his pants so they hang right. It takes 5 minutes.
    I think its good to let it out though. If you didnt, it would make you crazy.

  6. You have every right to feel this. I get so mad at myself all the time for not being able to let things go. I hope you get some rest and feel better soon!

  7. I find that when I’m already angry…ANYTHING can add on to it and make me more angry. I felt terribly guilty over the Thanksgiving holidays because that Saturday I was, in fact, angry because I had waited 2.5 hours at a car dealership for something that should’ve been a 15 minute job, and no one informed me, and their vending machine was broken, so I couldn’t eat and was feeling very sick. But then, I came home to my family and in-laws all being there, and I didn’t have time to let the steam clear, and just was being nasty and irritated with everyone. So…I get things piling up, and I don’t think you’re “empty” necessarily…maybe the air’s just starting to clear?

  8. sweetie, i’m so sorry everything is coming to a head right now. i’ve definitely been angry for being angry with the stuff we talked about last week. it’s hard, but i’ll be praying for you. you are loved!

    • Tina says:

      Love you too! And I’ve been praying for your stuff as well. That’s what friends do. Pray for each other. 🙂

  9. I am glad you are able to vent through your blog. It sounds like you are going through such a rough time and I am so sorry for that. It seems so overwhelming! I definitely get angry, we all do. Hang in there, we are all pulling for you! Big hugs your way xxoo

  10. girlie so sorry you are suffering!

    the end of pregnancy…or any of it actually…can be rough. You will get thru this and in the meantime, major hugs and strength to you! And of course not everything is b/c of the pregnancy, but that of course just magnifies things.

    Hang in there mama!

  11. I’m so sorry girl. I wish I could give you a hug. And I have most definitely been in that place where everything just seems to tick me off, including the fact that I’m so darn ticked to begin with. It sounds like you have so much pent up that you need to let out. I hope you feel better soon.

  12. Angela says:

    Aww I’m sorry you’re having a rough time Tina. I think it’s a great thing that you have your blog to vent about this because it helps other people to realize that it’s ok to be angry and that other people share the same frustrations. I often get angry at myself for causing stress that really is unnecessary, but sometimes I just chalk it up to being a type A personality. I can’t imagine that being pregnant (or a mom in the first place) is easy – I have enough trouble looking after myself!! Hang in there, and I’m praying for you! 🙂

  13. Vent away! If writing down your feelings on your blog are what helps you overcome them, then its more than worth it. I promise we don’t mind – in fact, while reading this I’m nodding my head and thinking yup, that’s me too!

    I’m so sorry you are going through this though. As fun and as exciting the holidays are, they are just entirely too stressful. The problem is we all try to be Superwoman and its just not always attainable. Hang in there!

  14. Becca says:

    More love and hugs headed your way! 🙂

    I know how the anger thing goes, too. For me, it’s usually little things that build up and make me explode and then I get mad at myself for exploding and… it’s not fun. 🙁
    Sadness, too. That was last week—a brief exchange with my mom turned into me fixating on a couple of negatives and eventually crying. Also not fun.

    The blog is actually an okay place to vent—we don’t mind! 🙂 And there’s always the love and support that comes around, too. 🙂

    • Tina says:

      I do think its things just building on top of one another that gets to me the most. And what’s tough is that things just keep piling on, but many won’t go away until after the birth.

  15. Katrina says:

    Yes, I have times when I look at myself and wonder what is wrong with me!?!?
    But then I take a breath, say a prayer, and try to get a handle on myself. I usually have to think about the blessings in my life for a few minutes before I come back down to earth. I usually have no good reason for being so cranky and just plain mad.

    BUT…You’re exhausted. Your body is getting ready for it’s greatest test of endurance. Not to mention hormones thrown in just to make people look at you funny.
    It WILL get better, even after a new life arrives.
    Lots of thoughts for you today. I’m so sorry it’s not a good day for you. I lurk here more than I post how much I appreciate your blog. That’s my fault and I hope the rest of the day gets better for you.

  16. I think it’s great that you’ve gotten your anger out here on the blog! It’s an awesome example because so many of us try so hard to hold it in, and that only makes the situation worse. I hope you’re starting to feel better!

    • Tina says:

      Getting it out here does help. I’m good at keeping things in if I don’t have a place I feel I can really pour it out. I poured it out on Peter last night, but it still didn’t feel like it was all gone. Getting it out on the blog really did help.

  17. Just so you know, I don’t mind it when you vent – or anyone else does – it makes your blog more real. If I wanted only rainbows and butterflies I would watch Disney movies on repeat. 😉 I don’t think you should ever apologize for having emotions and expressing them. I also think – especially with the body image stuff- vocalizing them helps a lot of women know we are not alone. So THANKS 🙂

    I hope you get the relaxation you need and hopefully your day is getting better!

  18. I get angry or upset easily when I am tired. When I am sleeping enough and taking time to read and do yoga etc. I am not very perturbable (which may not be a real word but is now).

    However, this is the ideal world scenario and it’s very difficult to arrange your life so that you get adequate rest all the time. And it seems nearly impossible when people have kids (which is arguably when they need patience the most). I have so many memories of my mom saying “I just need not to hear the word ‘mom’ or any kind of demand for a few hours”.

    I admire you for exemplifying patience and forbearance with your husband’s other activities. I am pretty sure I wouldn’t have the patience to do the same. But you have every right to feel the way you do. I just hope you get some you-time soon!

  19. I’m sorry that you are going through such a rough time. We all have those times that everything just bothers us and we want to shut down. It is perfectly fine to vent. It shows us that you are human. We all love and support you and are here for you. 🙂

  20. Sarah says:

    Awww, Tina, I’m sorry that things have been difficult. Sometimes constant disappointments can lead to frustration and anger plus pregnancy hormones, it only seems natural. I get angry about disappointments or if things don’t go my way and I don’t have the pregnancy hormones to blame. I’m just a control freak!!

    This is super corny but when I’m having a bad day I always start humming “the sun will come out tomorrow”. Somehow it always helps.

  21. Maura says:

    Anger and unhappiness are bound to show their ugly faces from time to time. I think (hope) that sharing all that and writing it out felt therapeutic for you. And if that’s what you need, no apologies needed for blogging about it. You’re not bemoaning life, you’re just living it and sharing it with us. Which I’m thankful for 🙂

  22. Astrid says:

    I get angry about getting angry so much, too! I don’t blame you for being angry that you didn’t have your movie and blizzard night. You were craving that, and life got in the way. Not to mention the millions of times you go out of your way to please everyone. Why won’t the world work in your favor for just ONE TIME. Okay, so maybe you struck a nerve. I feel guilty for getting impatient at my boyfriend (which it seems I do all. the. time.), and I need to work on simply talking it out with him instead of combusting time and time again.
    And I completely understand questioning your eating habits after just one serving of ice cream. There are times when I want a whole serving of dessert and not just a bite, and I end up feeling guilty for hanving a whole piece. Most nights this doesn’t phase me, but then I think, I surely cannot eat this much of a dessert every single day.
    Clearly I overanalyze everything too much. Clearly you do the same.
    We both need a break. You deserve a bigger break. And a huge hug.

  23. Sometimes I’m aware I’m in a bad mood and can’t shake it. Which makes me feel bad when I’m around people and know how much I’m bringing them down, even if I don’t want to!

    Sorry you’re upset these days. I really hope that things get a little better in the next few! I’m sure pregnancy can be exhausting- both mentally and physically.

    • Tina says:

      Yes! It’s so hard because I know I’m in a mood, I want it to be gone, but it’s just there…and won’t stop.

      It gets old really fast.

  24. Tatianna says:

    Yes. I think a more appropriate word for what I go through is ‘frustration’. Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself for not being able to just flick a switch and be my happy, bubbly self when I am feeling down.

    It’s totally understandable to feel this way, and in my opinion it’s even more understandable coming from a woman nearing the end of her pregnancy. Try to remember that this too shall pass.. it just has to run its course.

  25. Don’t worry about being too negative on the blog–you NEED a place to get it out! It’s okay to be angry so don’t beat yourself up about it. The end of pregnancy is so hard and makes everything seem awful. I’ll say a prayer that things get better for you. ((((HUGS)))))

  26. Katie says:

    I hope it helped a little just to type out those things. Sometimes I tell myself that it’s impossible to feel one emotion forever and it will pass. I often feel secondary emotions that are a response to a first emotion: main example for me is that I often feel guilt or shame about feeling angry like you said. Remember all emotions exist as a signal to tell us something. That is their biological function. Anger often is a signal to move into action to change circumstances or protect yourself. Maybe you can’t change all of the circumstances but maybe you can brainstorm little ways to improve them, like asking for more help, etc. Hope that helps and makes sense! I never want to make anything worse by misunderstanding. 😉 Thank you always for your nice words on my blog!

  27. Oh dear Tina…stress. Ain’t it a b##ch? Or whatever you can call it!!!! I’m so sorry that you are in that muck right now. I think we can all remember the last time we were there for one reason or another.

    Here is what is incredible about you: you are honest, you are open, and you acknowledge how you feel! That is step one that the majority of us in the world don’t do! We ignore it, hide it, pretend it isn’t there.

    In addition, you are so humbled and aware of how you feel. It’s incredible.

    I’m going to say some of that cliche stuff well, b/c it’s kind of true even though it’s not what you want to hear:
    experiencing the anger will help it release, acknowledge the amount of stress will help it release, building in support wherever you need it is key (and not feeling guilty!). And lastly, patience that this will pass. It will, it always does. 🙂

    Hugs your way!

  28. Kelly says:

    I am so sorry Tina. I know exactly how you feel. Lately I have been in the worst mood and I say things I don’t mean to people I love. Then I get angry at myself for snapping but I can’t get myself of this funk I am in which only makes me more angry. It is like a nasty cycle that I can not seem to break.

    • Tina says:

      Oh no. 🙁 I’ll be praying for you for whatever it is. I really hope this whole emotional/frustrated madness ends for both of us. Love to you!

  29. Dorry says:

    I think your angry thoughts are very normal for the circumstances and I love that you vent here because it allows you to get it out of your head. Sometimes I get angry thinking about a handful of unpleasant people in my life that I have to deal with on a regular basis.. if I get overwhelmed with angry thoughts, I know it’s time for me to step back and gain a new perspective.

  30. I regularly feel angry for feeling angry! Completely normal reaction, in my opinion. I think I live in a constant state of anger some months….years….Anger at the thing making me angry. Anger at God. Anger at being angry. But it does all come down to attitude. Not that knowing that always helps. Sometimes I get angry for knowing that it is about perspective (or hormones…) So many days I long for an abyss to scream into. Not jump – so that’s good! – just scream. 🙂

    As my mom always said, “This too shall pass…”

    Hang in there.

  31. Em says:

    🙁 I’m so sorry! I know what you mean. It is totally ok to feel angry. And I totally understand what you mean about feeling guilty about it. I don’t have any answers to give you other than, God. Give it all to him and things will get better. That’s the ONLY thing I know to do right now while I”m going through some discomfort myself. No doctor or husband’s massage can take away my pain, I must pray to God that he will help me handle it and get through the rest of this pregnancy. But Tina, don’t feel guilty. What you are feeling is totally valid and I’m glad you are being honest and getting those feelings out. Hang in there sweet lady!! xoxo

  32. You know what? I’m glad that you were able to get those feeling out – that is what your blog is here for – and that is what WE are here for… to support you in whatever you need us to be here for. I can only imagine the rollercoaster of emotions you are going through right now. It will get better – and I know you know that and I know that’s not what you need to hear.

    But, you’re allowed to be angry!!!!

  33. Hope things get better- but it’s ok to be angry. Hope this post was a good way to vent- don’t worry about too many posts like that. I like your honesty 🙂

  34. Rachel says:

    Let it out girl!

    Things that make me angry are animal/child abuse, being chained to my office phone 24/7 (I have to transfer the phones to someone else just to go to the bathroom), and when people die too young – my fiance just lost a friend to suicide yesterday.

  35. Thank you for your honesty in this post. I have been feeling kinda angry myself lately. And yes, I get angry because I am angry. So you definitely aren’t the only one. At least we know it is only for a season. This too shall pass 🙂

  36. Sometimes you just need to get stuff off your chest! I get angry about so many things . . . not being able to give one child all my attention, sometimes getting so easily frustrated w/ either of them, w/ The Lover b/c I want him to freaking quit smoking already, finish his sentences. . . everyone goes through tough times. Hang in there and it will get better! 🙂

  37. I get angry mostly when I’m in traffic… Other than that, every few months around ‘that time’ I get angry for no reason, but for every reason, including being angry that I’m angry. Since I usually know I’m not angry for a valid reason I keep it to myself. I love that you share yours on your blog…

    When I was reading your blog, the part about body image, etc. it made me think of a song… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hth7GzAoXos
    Hope it brings a smile to your day.

  38. Jess says:

    ((hugs)) to you friend. You are going through quite an emotional rollercoaster lately…and while that is TOTALLY ok, I feel for you and wish I could offer more words of support and encouragement. Just know that you will get past this, that God DOES have a plan for you and that it’s right around the bend. In the meantime, please by all means, feel free to vent away on this blog, we are all ears, I swear! xoxo

  39. lindsay says:

    your not angry, your tired and exhausted! Your mind is racing nad you body is aching. You will get through this and there will be tears of joy when you do! Its so healthy to release these feelings. More power to you! We are here to listen and support. I hope you have time for some hot tea and a little bible reading time today.
    Phil 4:13!!

  40. Aw, Tina, thinking of you! But you know what? Sometimes it is therapeutic to just be angry sometimes. So let it all out!

    You deserve a blizzard, Eclipse and a BREAK. Hope you feel like yourself again soon!

  41. Melie says:

    Well, hang on in there! It’s going to be over soon and you’re going to have a brand new addition to the family! 🙂

  42. Lee says:

    It’s okay to be angry and to vent on the blog. I always feel much better after I get everything out in writing. And you are so close…the baby will be here before you know it and a lot of the pregnancy problems will be over.

  43. So sorry that your anger is running wild. I pray that God will give you peace.

    I get angry when I feel stifled. I’m so angry right now that my health isn’t cooperating and I feel inadequate at my job and life.

    I feel really angry when I feel out of control and don’t know how to get it back.

  44. Laura says:

    I admire your strength and perseverance, I cannot image how hard pregnancy must be. I know you’ll get through this rough patch. Keep looking at the light at the end of the tunnel. All the pain will be worth it in the end.
    And yes i get angry! at the most stupidest things sometimes… but mostly jsut my life in general and how it seems to be going nowhere.
    much love <3

  45. Camille says:

    Today I was having a similar day. Only, instead of being angry, I was just sad.
    I was sad looking through my old memory box. I was sad when my recipe didn’t work. I was just generally sad.
    I hope your day is getting better!

  46. I have had many times where I am angry just to be angry…way too many to count. Do not feel bad for venting here at all! I feel for you 🙁

  47. Meg says:

    I don’t think you need to apologize for venting on your blog. Something about your rants is so relatable that I’m sure I’m not the only one who is feeling a lot of what you are.

    I’ve been angry because my best friend had a baby a month ago and I never hear from her unless I call her first and even then she refuses to take him anywhere because he might get sick and I feel like I don’t understand because I’ve never had a baby. I’m angry because I feel like she acts like she’s the first and last person to ever have a baby. I’m angry because school is hard and I procrastinate and feel like I never study well enough. I’m angry because I feel like I’m not smart enough to get a good enough grade the first time.

    So hang in there, all this that you’re feeling is only temporary and I’ll tell you what, I promise you that God thinks you are his beautiful daughter, because he created you and love everything about you. I know I don’t always have great body image either but if we love God, we can love ourselves, because he made us.


  48. Do you know how amazing you are for writing this all out? Well I’ll tell you. AH-MAZ-ING! Why? Because knowing what you are angry about and communicating it is a beautiful and underrated thing and I commend you for sharing. I hope that things get better in all arenas. You seem like a person that deserves the best =)

    • Tina says:

      Thanks, Shanna. It’s weird how I couldn’t put my finger on what was bothering me all day yesterday. Then, when asked outright, it came pouring out and things seemed so much clearer. I think that helped tremendously.

  49. Wow, after reading this I’m angry for you.

    I don’t trust bloggers who dont show real emotions like anger. Life isn’t perfect, we know all know that. I have my days where I just want to complain about everything under the sun so I do. We all need to vent sometimes.

    PS-Hope you get your blizzard soon!

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