The Weight Q+A – Pre, During, & Post Baby

Posted: November 29, 2010 at 12:15 pm

Catching up from the holiday weekend? I had a good one! See below:
-- 5 Reasons Pregnancy Rocks on Thanksgiving
-- Tree Decorating
-- Holiday Shopping and Peppermint Mocha Fudge Making
-- A Kid-Free Overnight Date Night

Awhile ago, when I asked for questions from all of you about any topic under the sun, I knew quite a few questions related to weight would come up. I’m no idiot. I knew that I would not be immune from the curiosity on the subject. I will always answer openly and honestly – if weight discussion (or pictures) makes you uncomfortable, please stop reading. And always keep in mind that each body is unique, so don’t play the comparison game. Read accordingly.

What is your average weight when you are not pregnant??
Well, that depends on how you look at things. My pre-pregnancy weight is higher than my “happy weight” (which I will discuss below). Right after finishing my competition last fall, I knew I wanted to regain my period as quickly as possible to try to conceive. To help those chances, the reasoning was to get back to where I easily conceived with Makenzie – around 135-140 lbs. That’s what I did and regained my cycle comparatively quickly. Photo below: day before finding out preggo with B.

How do you keep from gaining too much while pregnant? I know the doctors have told you a few times your weight gain this pregnancy. Is it similar to the first time or more or less?
I truly believe that by striving to eat a mostly healthy diet and achieving some activity a woman’s body will gain just what it needs for pregnancy. For some that is 20 lbs and for others that is 50 lbs. And it will come off. I try hard not to stress over pregnancy weight gain and really tried hard not to know my gain this time around to “practice what I preach” in a sense. Yes, the doctors did bring up my weight at a few appointments. I do not know for certain my current gain since it has not been disclosed at my last 2 appointments, but based on previous visits, this pregnancy is very similar to how I gained weight with Makenzie. It feels similar as well, just carried differently this time around thanks to baby B’s painful positioning. Photos below: left = 32 weeks pregnant with M, right = 32 weeks pregnant with B.

What is your "happy weight" and where is your body comfortable? How do you define a "happy weight" for yourself?
I define a “happy weight” as a place my body naturally goes to when I eat quality foods, listen to my hunger, and keep up with regular exercise. It’s a place that does not take any sort of deprivation or over-exertion to maintain and a place I can relatively easily reach with consistent healthy choices over a period of time. I do not think you need a scale to know your body’s happy place!

With that being said, I do know that I found my “happy weight” after pregnancy with M. Before becoming pregnant with her, I was on the tail end of overcoming my binge issues and I believe that put me at a higher (albeit still healthy range) weight. When losing weight after Makenzie, I had no set goal in mind. I focused on treating my body well and seeing where it took me. I easily reached a place I felt great at and maintained without issue until I decided to take it one step further with training for my competition. That place is where I hope to return sometime after baby B. And for full disclosure, it was around 125 lbs. Photos below = summer of 09 (June-July)

summer09

How do you plan to get into shape after baby B is born?
I have mentioned before that I have quite a few post topics related to this that I plan to share more fully around the time of B’s due date or shortly after his birth. I have a lot to say on this topic and to adequately answer this question and my beliefs/plans would take too long to write here. I will say, however, that I plan to do things similar to how I managed weight loss after having Makenzie. I will focus on health and consistently caring for myself, then let my body “do its thing” so to speak.

I do want to note one major difference - I plan to use NO scale the entire post-pregnancy back to fitness journey. Look for more on that reasoning, the topic of calorie counting or “dieting”, progress pictures a yay or nay, specific workout/training plan ideas, etc in the next couple of months. I told you I have a lot to talk about for it!

Well, there you have it. Laid out there for the world to see. I wasn’t sure I wanted to discuss weight like this, but also feel I have nothing to hide. Just know – my beliefs have 100% changed and scale weight means nothing to me now. I hope you don’t allow it to define you by any means either.

  • Does discussing weight make you uncomfortable in any way? Or do you not care about it – either your own or others?
  • What do you think makes the topic of weight so intriguing among women?

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59 Comments to “The Weight Q+A – Pre, During, & Post Baby”
  1. Enjoyed this post Tina! And I agree with you on your definition of happy weight!

  2. Jess says:

    GREAT post, Tina. I fully and firmly agree with all of your points, in a big, big way. It is SUCH a healthful and balanced approach to weight loss and weight maintenance. I was especially struck by your overview and definition of your “happy weight” – it’s something I think more woman need to strive for, versus an “unhappy weight” that is impossible to maintain yet so many women drive themselves nuts trying endlessly to reach a certain number. I hate scales, hate the numbers game and refuse to do it. It’s not healthy to fixate on numbers so much so that it ruins your confidence and, in all honestly, ruins your chances to live at a healthy, fit weight because all of your focus ends up on the wrong things…numbers, unhealthy diets, etc. Awesome stuff from you, as usual.

  3. Thank you for sharing and being so open on the topic. I can’t wait to see your workout rotations!!! ;-)

  4. You are brave for laying it all out there, Tina!

    Losing the weight after having a baby is something I’ve always been nervous about (in the way future!!) I hope that eventually scale weight will mean nothing to me, as well… I try not to let it define me, either!

  5. the only thing that makes me uncomfortable really is the fear that discussing weight (with numbers) will trigger me…but the reality is that i’ve come to love myself more than just a weight number, so i’ve gotten to the point that i can cast that fear aside and just focus on living :)

  6. Astrid says:

    A part of me still feels really uneasy when people talk about weight. I actually don’t have a scale, so I don’t weigh myself. As long as I am fit, and feel healthy, and am eating well, that’s all that matters. It’s all that should matter, anyways. But when people (like my parents) tell me all about the weight they are losing, a part of me cannot help but want to join in and lose weight too! It’s horrible because I do not need to alter anything. It’s crazy how one number can change moods for the better or worse. But it is a very concrete way to label health. We can’t see our insides, but we can see a number.

    • Tina says:

      I agree that part of what appeals in weight or any other numbers is the sense of control. We can see it and try to manipulate it to change. I’m with you on all of those other feelings too. I don’t really care to discuss weight and besides this post, weight numbers will likely not be mentioned on my blog. I certainly know it won’t be a topic when getting back in shape. I know I don’t need a scale, nor do I want one because I rely too much on it.

  7. It’s funny how personal weight is. Everyone has their own definition of what feels right to them, whether or not it’s actually a healthy and safe weight for them. It took me about 6 years of yo-yo-ing and questionable eating patterns to find where I feel comfortable. I don’t count calories, I never weigh myself (I could probably give you a good estimate at my weight, but I truthfully have no idea), but I know I FEEL good, and really, that’s what matters the most, right?

  8. Talking weight specifics makes me a little uncomfortable because I know how much it differs for everyone. I look at the healthy weight range for my height (based on BMI and what my Dr. says) and the low end would be unhealthy for me, but maybe would be great for someone else. It’s all relative, and it’s all about feeling good at your happy weight.

    Thanks for addressing the topic though- I think its very interesting. I think baby bellies are so awesome! Can’t wait to have one!

    • Tina says:

      Agreed! It is SO personal and doesn’t really mean anything because we are each built so differently. That’s why I have no desire to use a scale anymore.

  9. Weight discussions really don’t bother me…anymore. Though just today I’ve been put in an interesting internal dilemma. A friend is giving me all her size 4 maternity clothes…which I might be able to squeeze into, and would save a lot of money. (though I’m more comfortable in 6′s) But all of a sudden I’m contemplating weight MANAGEMENT while pregnant…which I really never wanted to consider. I certainly would never consider “dieting”. Hoping just starting to exercise again will smooth out my lower half enough to wear the pants. Optimism here. ;)

  10. “Happy weight” is a weird thing… I am not sure if I will ever be “happy.” I’m at a decent weight now (even after T-day), but then I think I can probably get down another 5 lbs and THEN be happy. I honestly think that the 5 lbs came on over the past few years are unneeded aren’t helping my running.

    So I can say right now that I’m sorta happy with my weight… I’m down from last year a couple of lbs. =) As for baby weight, I do worry when the time comes, but I think I’ll just have a period when I’m working really hard, and I’m sure everything will be fine. As someone said above, weight shouldn’t define me, though that doesn’t allow excuses. =D

  11. P.S. BMI… I’ve never liked that. I really think my muscle weight inches me toward “overweight.”

  12. Weight (as in the actual number) always was higher for me compared to say a girl who was my exact height and size, and that was due to muscle. I always tell myself that, and comparing yourself to others is the worst thing you can do (which I unfortunately did for a while). Being in shape, happy, and healthy will always be most important than a number on a scale. Its hard to keep that in perspective sometimes, but thank you for sharing your story! Looking forward to reading about your post-baby journey to a healthy weight!

  13. What a wonderful post girl, especially on topics that people often feel very passionately about (whether they recognize it or not!).

    Your philosophy on balance and health is so wonderful and very similar to who I am striving to be.

    In terms of discussing weight, I am very comfortable discussing what I have experienced and how I feel. I also acknowledge that different things work for different people so opinions are large and they vary!

  14. I enjoyed reading this post! I really admire your commitment to not using the scale!

  15. You are so inspiring! You look great in all your picures! :)

  16. I love how you define your happy weight. I completely agree with you. It shouldnt be difficult to maintain your “happy weight” that takes the “happy” right out of it.

  17. Dorry says:

    I don’t weigh myself often – we don’t have a scale at home so I often go months and months with no idea of my weight. I know my body and how my clothes fit and go on that. When I was severely underweight, it was more important to me to monitor my weight gain…and I imagine when Billy and I decide to have children, knowing my weight will undoubtedly be part of the process. But for now, it’s not something I focus on.

    I love the full disclosure in your personal posts like this – it helps break the barriers and make topics like this less taboo.

    :)

  18. I’m totally open about weight talk – but I know some people take it the wrong way. What’s right for my body is different for others! I’ve been trying to pack on some weight so when the time is right, it will be easier.. we’ll see how that goes. :)

    One last question – how tall are you?

  19. I love how open you are about a topic that no one usually openly discusses. It’s great to hear that weight will come back off after a baby, because so often your hear it doesn’t! Looking good Momma!

  20. Girl, you look fabulous in all of those pictures!! I’m sure what you plan on doing will be great for you :)
    I feel uncomfortable mentioning weight on my blog just to avoid readers falling in to the comparison trap – but it’s seriously a “to each their own topic” as well.
    PS – your abs look GREAT post- baby M! :)

    • Tina says:

      This will likely be the ONLY time I openly discuss my weight on the blog. I don’t think its important, but at the same time didn’t want to avoid or gloss over questions I was asked. It’s a tough thing, because while I know I don’t have any issues with the numbers (mine or anyone else’s) anymore I know it can be triggering to others. It’s the same sort of dilemma I face with whether or not I want to post progress pictures when getting back in shape after pregnancy. That’s a whole other post though that will be coming up soon enough! LOL

  21. I disclosed recently my final goal for my wellness journey, and got some shocked looks. Shocked in “Oh you don’t need to weigh that. It would be unhealthy for you.” I have no desire to reach my anorexic high school weight (113), but to reach the weight that I felt happy in my body. That is still about 20 pounds heavier than all the fitness/nutrition stuff says I should weigh. Whatever! :)

    I will talk about it, and am planning to put it out there on my blog soon as I am finishing up a 30 day personal challenge. I think it is such a hot topic, in so many ways, because of the vast quantity of visual images that are tossed our way. You really don’t see quite as much talk on the celebrity news when a guy gains/loses weight, but the women are stalked in that respect. It is really kind of sad that women are targeted to expect to look a certain way.

  22. Lauren says:

    I rarely weigh myself – mostly at the doctor for physicals. But I notice a lot of other college girls always bring up weight when talking about fitness or health. I try to avoid talking about weight compared to health because everyone’s different and it can trigger people even if they are healthy but not at the “skinny” weight their friend is at.

    • Tina says:

      Weight and health do not go hand in hand always. Just like skinny and health. It frustrates me hearing others talk like they explicitly do as well. Good for you for not stressing over it!

  23. Nichole says:

    You have a perfectly round preggo belly:) Look at you!! I am glad you address this issue about before, after and during. It’s crazy how the body works.

    I think your discipline is something to be admired. And you seriously look fantastic!

  24. Heather says:

    I’d like to say that the number on the scale doesn’t mean anything to me, but I know it does. The fact that I have to will myself to step on that stupid thing says it all.
    You are a confident, brave woman – and an inspiration! I hope to one day not let the number affect me. :)

  25. Angela says:

    As always, I love your honesty Tina! The only time I weigh myself now is when I’m checking my body composition with my trainer, but it’s the lean muscle mass figure I’m paying attention to rather than my total weight. Talking about weight doesn’t make me uncomfortable, UNLESS the person I’m talking to is being judgmental critical of me. Great post!

  26. LindseyAnn says:

    I always feel uncomfortable talking about weight. I’ve always been on the smaller side, but when I hit the heavier end of my natural weight swing and I talk about getting back down to a happier place, I get all kinds of snarky commentary about how I “don’t need to”, and I get told to “shut up, you skinny (expletive).” I was once told by a former roommate to “You’ll never understand–just shut up and let us complain!” It just comes across as “you’re small, so you have no business having any concern about your weight and fitness, and you’ll never understand what it’s like to worry about it.” So, I just don’t talk about it, even when I really needed to. :(

    PS–you look amazing!

  27. That’s interesting chica – I like your thoughts on weight gain + pregnancy in that it’s nothing to be afraid of, your body will do what it needs to do and you will lose it. I’ve never been bothered by weight talk, #s, etc. It is interesting sometimes but mostly it’s just shocking to me what an impact height has. I WILL say that I only talk about weight in this community or with close friends and family who know that i’m only comparing myself to myself, i’m not living and dying by the numbers and that I see it as a great point of reference to keep my butt in check! :) GREAT POST, as always. :) You do pregnant well, lady!

  28. The topic of weight – I do somewhat care about it. But I find that I am really happier since I stopped weighing myself.

    People carry weight very differently – it can be interesting to have numbers, but the same number will look so different on two people!

    I am not sure if you’ve mentioned this before, but how tall are you?

  29. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tina Reale, Tina Reale. Tina Reale said: The Weight Q+A – Pre, During, & Post Baby: Catching up from the holiday weekend? I had a good one! See below:– … http://bit.ly/gZumCP [...]

  30. Melie says:

    This post has created a question in my mind which is completely unrelated to weight. You look great in your photos as a blond and equally great with the darker hair you have now. But have you ever thought of having your hair red? I think it would look good. :-) (Completely irrelevant observation I know)

  31. Melie says:

    This post has created a question in my mind which is completely unrelated to weight. You look great in your photos as a blond and equally great with the darker hair you have now. But have you ever thought of having your hair red? I think it would look good. :-) (Completely irrelevant observation I know)

    • Tina says:

      Haha! I have died my hair back to its natural color…and sometimes I think there is a bit of red in it. I don’t plan on coloring my hair again (for awhile at least), so I’ll stick with the light brown for now. :)

  32. Tina,

    I LOVE your post! I checked out your competition posts (I wansn’t following your blog at the time) and for the record, you should have taken 1st or 2nd… I won’t bash anyone, but I’m just saying ;) I subscribe to Oxygen not to get into competitions but because they give great workout plans and yummy food tips.

    I don’t care to discuss my weight with anyone or to hear others talk about theirs. The number on the scale is just that, a number. It doesn’t tell you how fit you are or how good you feel. I know a girl that weighs less than me but treats her body terribly. I would rather weigh more and be healthy than weigh less and be unhealthy.

    I <3 your blog and can't wait for the new baby and post-baby updates!

  33. Marcia says:

    Great post!
    Discussing weight used to bother me….not so much anymore- I have matured! (kinda). People are astonished at HOW MUCH I weigh– it used to annoy me and probably gave me a complex now that I think about it….. but since I have gotten older and had children I like to tell how much I weigh and then explain that everyone is different etc. I carry a lot of muscle so I look different than a girl that does not carry as much muscle ( but weighs the same) and I am interested in performing well in my sports then being at a smaller weight. With that being said, I am a bit over my performance weight at the moment…I know this becuase some of my workout pants are a bit snug! ;) Oh well, spring training is right around the corner….

  34. Kelly says:

    This is so interesting to me as someone who hopes to be pregnant in the nest few years, God willing. I’m not uncomfortable hearing about others discussing weight. You have set a really great example for those of us who have pregnancy to look forward to. Thanks for such a candid post. :)

  35. jen says:

    One day I hope to not own a scale, but since I have about 90lbs to lose “going by how clothes fit” doesn’t cut it…for ME. I need the scale right now.

    I think you look AMAZING and I look forward to reading what you have planned after baby B is born :)

    Jen

    • Tina says:

      I certainly support those who do use a scale for motivation and accountability. As long as it doesn’t become the driving factor in doing “good enough” or become obsessive I think it can serve as a great tool for those with goals related to weight.

  36. Karen says:

    I don’t talk about numbers on my blog for a few reasons. One is that what 150 looks like on one woman is totally different from what it looks like on another. Another reason is that I think so many of us can identify with what bloggers share in their emotions and experiences regardless of the number of pounds needed to lose. That said, I always applaud bloggers who are comfortable putting their numbers out there. I know for some it is a big part of their accountability and motivation.

  37. Ela says:

    I love this honesty, straight talking, and I love your radiance and spirit!

    I still find thinking about my weight to be very triggering, although I’m regularly challenging myself to think that there may be other things that are more profitable to focus on. The worst thing about numbers on a scale is that they provide an arbitrary way for people to compare themselves to each other, which can often be a negative thing overall.

    My husband’s aunt is 84 and quite a bit shorter than me, and she looks very petite and slight. She mentioned her weight once, and it’s quite a bit more than I weigh! But she’s as muscular as old rope and strong as a horse, so she must just be muscled as all get out, which is heavier than fat. I try to remind myself of this and avert myself from the allure of the double digits…

    love
    Ela

  38. Camille says:

    I really like your honesty! Just know that you are gorgeous no matter what weight you are!

  39. I think everyone is looking to find what works for them. I HATE talking about specific numbers in weight. I feel judged by it and it makes me uncomfortable. I will answer the question if asked, but then I get made fun of, so I prefer to not discuss it.

  40. LG says:

    Thanks so much for this post. Ho hum…have been trying to conceive for over a year and though my cycle is normal (though light), I wonder if gaining 10lbs would really help us out. It’s messing with my mind though!!! Gahh. We’ll see with the specialist says this week!

  41. Lindsey says:

    Great Q & A! Love your mindset :)

  42. You know I LOVE all of your Q+A posts, especially pregnancy ones. I don’t mind talking about weight really. I can’t wait to read your future posts about this topic :)

  43. That was a REALLY great post! Those are a lot of questions I have been wondering about in general lately and I loved all of your answers – I think its so great that you plan on not using a scale post childbirth!!

  44. Kristy says:

    In your 32wk comparison photo you look so much more MATURE now. I said mature not old, just to clearify! :-) I enjoy you revealing the secrets to life!

  45. [...] up this morning compelled to say a big thank you! I felt pretty hesitant yesterday morning to post my Q + A on weight. I do not believe a number on a scale shows a complete definition of health, yet know how [...]

  46. Holly says:

    Once again, Tina, I LOVE your honesty and appreciate it so much. I think the whole “weight topic” is so guarded nowadays (as it should be), but also we shouldn’t be afraid to EVER discuss it, ya know? I hope to approach motherhood and the weight loss after having a baby just the same as you – you are such a positive influence! BTW, you are gorgeous in your belly pics. :-)

  47. Amy says:

    Hi Tina,

    I just want to tell you how inspiring this post was to me! Not knowing how much you’ve gained, and not using a scale while you get back to your happy weight – that is so awesome, and you’ve challenged me to consider doing the same when I am pregnant/postpartum. Thank you!

  48. [...] I mentioned in my Q+A post on all things weight related, I believe that was my happy place because I physically felt amazing and didn’t have to obsess [...]

  49. [...] bit more in depth on my weight gain to conceive. I have briefly discussed it before, such as in my Q+A post about my weight, but not in detail recently. Ask and you shall receive here on FFF. I’m not afraid to spill my [...]

  50. i got to this post from your last one– thank you so much for being frank about having to gain weight pre-B. it just makes me feel better to know i’m not the only one having to deal with this! i have gained 5ish lbs in the past few months in the hopes of responding better to my fertility treatments and while i SO do not feel my best, it is working (well, not enough that i’m pregnant, but i ovulated right on target this past round!).

    • Tina says:

      That’s great! Hope it continues to bring good things. I know the mental games can be tough. I’m always here if you need a sounding board to vent to. :)

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